Building up a conscience

Hello there existential ones!

This is a point of view to one of the many experiences you can have in this universe according to the body you are inhabiting. As a regular human, your hearing spectrum has been established by local laws of physics as something that your hears perceived between 20 Hz to 20000 Hz, your viewing spectrum is contained above the infra-red and below the ultraviolet, in frequencies way above any hearing.

As a dog, your sight and sound experience would be so different, that you would think that you ought to be in an another universe if by some random act or reincarnation you end up waking alive inside the body on a dog, or any animal for that matter. Our interactions with any other life forms are mediated by the limits of the sense each species carries. The overlap of senses allows the common ground, but the experience is by no means similar. 

Considering other spectrum limits for other senses in the human body, one might wonder how limited is the conscience experience we have of the universe. We try with our clever ways to tackle into realms that super-exceed our body's ability to sense whatever is out there, but only recently in human history have we started to uncover what lies beneath the fabric of existence.   

Before all of this to be possible, one must consider the builiding of a conscience - the sense that Soul has when it is experiencing the life inside one of its host. To each is own of course, but only few have started to tap into the possibilities that come to being if the soul is truly aware of its part, rather than confusing itself for the partial universal experience of the bodily senses. We are so much more than senses and reason. 

The building of any conscience starts with this statement:

 

I am therefore I think. Existence - then conscience. 

Fear as a teacher

What is fear? 

During my research for this post I came across this witty definition: 

 “F-E-A-R: has two meanings: 

    Forget Everything And Run 

or 

    Face Everything And Rise. 

The choice is yours.” 

— Zig Ziglar. 12/11/2017

According to the American Psychology Association

Fear is an intense emotion aroused by the detection of imminent threat, involving an immediate alarm reaction that mobilizes the organism by triggering a set of physiological changes.

This might be the reason the human species survived some of its challenges until now. The fact that our ancestors were able to detect a threat and out of fear and the will to overcome it found ways to be the fittest of a number of situations that had risen. 

I tend to dislike fear for what it makes me feel, but I have learned that if I let it pass through me it cannot hurt me, but instead leave me with a lesson of a specific experience. The unknown, the possibility that what is imminent might not necessarily pose a threat nor what is new, nor what is different, nor what is beyond understanding. Fear can teach how to prevent a threat but it can also be an awakening for a new beginning. That which needs to be overcome. Fear as a hurdle to overcome, to understand the undiscovered truth of the new. 

I fear one too many things, and it is okay to acknowledge that it happens. The choice will always be on my side. I can be reckless and ignore it, I can try to understand it, to desiccate whatever it is that is producing the emotion within me, I might even invite it for drinks and let its purpose unfold. The truth of the matter is that fear is a teacher of choice. Do or do not. Let it pass through or let it reside in you.  Once again I think it is pertinent to bring the litany of fear from Frank Herbert's Dune. 

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

The experience is not the individual but a part of it. 

Fear is not the end, but an instant.

The dreamer, the seer, the player of woven dreams made real, the awareness of the soul manifested - only those different manifestations of the same true-self can unweave, disconstruct, face, obliterate, transform, ascend ... over fear as a limitation of being. 

Fear is an alert in the ongoing life, not the end of it. 

Dreamer of the infinite possibilities

Today I heard Deepak Chopra speak about the dreamer and the avatar. We perceive ourselves as the avatar most of the time, when in fact we are one of the infinte possibilites that are been dreamnt right about now. All our illusions, name, parents, country, status, love interests, friendships, jobs, worries, accomplisments, they are all part of the same dream that we are undergoing. It was purposed that what is left to do is for the experience (the illusion of life, the awareness) to join its dreamer. So, to you dreamer, I leave you this message, even though I am unware if you are able to perceive this language one of thousands in this vast universe you are creating. I wish I could understand more of what it is to be an spectator of countless experiences. I know now that whatever I do is irrelevant for my wishes, as this is all a manifestation to you. Good or bad are just constructs within the dream. Within my own experience of liveness what I can tell is that to know that this is just one of many possibilities takes the weight of importance of my shoulders. I can just flow with the experience, and allow myself to go. This can help me cope with an ego that is itself an illusion of control. Come and find me in my dreams if you can. There are experiences to be had there too.

The wonder of being

Hello there! Isn't it lovely to be able to greet someone? To be able to prove to someone that you care! That you are alive! That you are alive and at the same time, you might be, not always, but at that unique moment, you might just be happy and thrilled to greet that exact person. It does not have to be your spouse nor your girlfriend nor the neighbour lady not even the neighbourly lady's dog. It might just be a kind stranger that for some reason stumbled right there in your life. If you are able to see and conceive the uniqueness of being face to face with loveliness of being, then my friend you are more awake than most. The reality is that most of us cross thousands people every day and only rarely are able to greet them with a word, a smile, a nod. I have forgotten many times on how to just say hi to the people I love. But maybe it would be nice to grant an once of respect for new people who step in. People step in and out all the time, but it takes a special connection to make them want to stay a while longer. Some of the harshest pains I had to endure was to not being able to convince people I loved that I wanted them in my life, because I was too bitter or too proud to claim my part of the problem. So I stopped being a true friend, to being too proud. Just be the best version of yourself, and yourself will mirror the best side of you inwards and outwards.

Deeper flow

 "There are possibilities"
But there must be accountability. One must be aware of the paths one is choosing. 
My view for these days of 2023, is that I am open to the universe once more. 

I am trying to shut my dependence on outer love and focus my intake of love from within. 

True love is already here. It is in me. It is the quintessential substance that flows within my soul.

So the new hope is that by being awake, I am given to fly towards my goal. 

The goal is to be content with every breath I take. To accept the joy of being alive. 

To indulge on living rather than having. To walk a mile and meditate with the footsteps and the look of the leaves. 

I am not inclined to write too much now, because I am just filled with a sense of awe. 

I keep realizing that life is the supreme manifestation of being, no matter what you are feeling. 

Feelings are only the toppings of a much deeper energy - the pulsating orb that makes everything come together. 

There is a flow.

But now, there is rest.

Until tomorrow

Journey Within

There are moments in my life where I am lost outside because I have misplaced my inner compass. I truly wish I could find my inner light, as if I could perchance dive into an ancient dream, and as I would roam among the people of yore and through the mysteries of the relics that once were, maybe then I could metaphorical address the lost nature that is here with me. 

I have taken far too many roads, always wanting to reach a better outcome than the previous one, but along the way I misread the signs and ended up in Sorrow's vile, population Me. But I guess I have been looking for the answers in all the wrong avenues, there is a narrow way within, that goes through my soul, down that path where I have accumulated far too many wrong experiences, that somehow impaired my good guidance. It has become difficult to see the world with a fresh pair of eyes. 

Oh, how I old dearly to those words that Q fictitiously said once: 

"If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross. But it's not for the timid"

But I am tired of bloody hearts. They linger for far too long, and they have a toll.

"It's hard to know who to trust, isn't it Jack?"

I guess it becomes harder to leaps of faith, even with the kindest of hearts. So a journey has to occur. I must clear the clogged paths of trust. In order to move freely and forward, I have to make room for new memories, better memories to start to build a brave new world. 

And all it takes is a bit concentration and a deep breath...

"and then one day... I've got in"

"my god, it's full of life in there"

 

Sad sad sad

 This quaint construct of the mind is all but friendly.

These are the facts, I am losing my mind. I am 44 and I am full of emotional holes that I expect others can fill them. So this is the lesson, no one should be expect to carry any part of me to fill any part of my soul that is somehow lost. The reason is simple, I have these parts of me. I just misplaced them. And hence, I am sad.

It is very unfair, not to me, but to the world, to be expect to solve any problems that, myself, in my quest for a purpose of life, created. These are just tears of frustration. Frustration of not knowing where I am heading. Vaya con dios at one point sang "we're heading for a fall". 

But this Fall, what I feel is that I have been falling from my steadfast resolve to be a better man.

This is sad. 

Where did I lose myself? What wrong turn did I take to stray my soul so much.

And lonely I feel. Not because I do not have family, which I do. friends, which I do, love, which they share. I feel lonely because these pieces of me, that are so dear to my own meaning, are lost. 

"and... like an insubstantial life faded" I have forgotten what they are...

Its like having a map that I do not understand.

This is a language of life I do not comprehend.

So the saddest part of all, is that I am trapped within.