Ah the pain!

.
Perchance I had the words to describe the symphony of tears within me.
Of all the wrecked feelings that buzz every now and again from my heart, I am but gazing at an outside that should mean nothing more than the mere scenery that fills the canvas of my days. And yet, it is with anger and envy that my greedy soul realizes the emptiness of it all. As if for an instance I could have lived a better life, from the choices that I have been given. Only now do I realize that no choice was actually made, instead acceptance of a curious soul, taking step by step the mysteries that life provides.
How could I have fathom the destiny that was lurking in a dark alley on a stormy path...
I am nothing more but a fortune man without an ounce of sorrow to shed, and still I feel in me the emptiness of purpose yet again, as if the hive from where I have sprung brought me no more meaning than that of the wandering bee that just does what it's told.
So much life I see surrounding me, and I wonder still, could I have lived a better life to endure not once or twice the choices of the moment, but cherish the uniqueness of it all. Ah this pain of emptiness that visits me every now and then as a reminder, you could have done so much more, you could have seen so much more life than the shadows of the events that the outside produces through the windows of my soul.
I do not wish to make sense of this moment, all I want is to spill the guts of a lifeless feeling that haunted me just now... and hopefully will let me be... to resume an happiness that fits me as the favourite mask to you all. You that seem to know all, but dare not tap the depths of your own souls with the fear that you might not like to expose who you are, due to a typical human characteristic known as pride.

Ah the pain indeed to you all... may you realize that you are more human from it, from the love and any other emotions you may still recognize, rather than accepting that no small deed goes unrecognized... your emotions are the fabric of your humanity
be a person every now and again and avoid the vanity of your own pride...
for you maybe a better human, if only you can recall what is implied by the fact of saying I am alive and I intend to keep on living.