.
Dear Carlos,
It has been a while, since the last time we both spend a night gazing at the corners of the world. After gathering fiction stories and real life stories, I felt this was the proper time to drop you a few lines.
Mad world! Indeed it is, but nonetheless we got to love it, with all its little clichés scatter around any given corner of its streets. All around I see familiar faces, worn down places… the song states it well.
Ah! Friends!
I have friends who remind me of myself in the most prehistoric stages of my existence - the high school – a place where all the insecurities jumped at me like flees to a dog, it was a time when nothing more seems to have an opportunity to reveal itself.
It was so easy to be a pessimistic hidden under the shield of realism. Optimist was left for the ones, whose reality gave the paramount ability to create, enjoy and purchase art with the mere thought. Pessimism, however, is given to those, whose life seems a redundancy of bad events, scattered in a road somewhere where the too many good events are easily forgotten.
Do you remember Carlos, back in the days when fear ruled your soul with the fist of anxiety, when the optimism that others had for you, hold so little currency when compared to that grim view of eternity through the blurred lens of the present imperfect. There are so many ways to divide people today. One that calls for my attention currently, is the self-critics and the self-lovers division. Personally, I have been, in occasion, part of both circles of thought, although, despite the qualities of my life indicate that I should be a self-lover, I most confess that I tend more to the former category due to an unexplainable crises of low-esteem that hovers on top of me every now and then.
Yet, I wonder, what makes people be so much of a critic to themselves. How can a person endure such a punishment, by the self?
After viewing Requiem for a dream, I wonder how will we ever get out of the mess that we are in today. We are so careless with the little earthquakes in our lives that it is a true wonder to see a moment of care towards any other earthquake lying around in the neighborhood.
My friend, I believe that life brings us greatness at any corner, if we are willing to be there to pick it up and indulge ourselves with what life has for us in its rollercoaster.
I cannot afford to be specific or I would lose myself too much, in any case Carlos, you can wonder one, upon reading these humble words that you compose to yourself.
Take care of yourself, fill your cup with high hopes and visions of grandeur, for in the end of the first act you might be given the chance to performer in one of your dreams and take others high in to the moon.
Hug
Carlos
P.S. I am listening to Donnie Darko Soundtrack, after watching Requiem for a Dream. I am still dwelling with a Portuguese book, it is difficult to leave the world of two peoples that are opposite in the sense that one breaths and the other does not. Oh well.
cocasman@zmail.pt
Saturday, June 19, 2004
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Impatient Mind
.
A few weeks after arriving to Montreal, I started to notice the increasingly scarce lack of news from my friends, a bit throughout the world.
Back then, I wondered about a conspiracy movement, I even had a name for it too. I called it – The Conspiracy of Silence.
Still, as time went on, I could not help to wonder who had been the true mute figure in this word play?
Me, who fled to a new reality in the hopes of finding my purpose in the world; or all of them who, to me, seem to be hiding way in their convenient bureaucratic routines. A commitment towards society made them slaves of a square like life, removing color, taste and what once was pleasure from their lives. How easy it is to blame it on the next person, for the faults of my lack of action. With the ability of a slick moron I let paranoia sink in and start shooting in all the directions possible, instead of the most probable, my own.
Even so, I guess, that we are all to blame in this silence plot, as we secretly avoid worrying about fellow friends and family, trusting that all is well, if no bad news are there to tell.
How we be little ourselves to this sloth like behavior that excuses us from any responsibility on any kind of worrying towards anybody and everybody. Sadly, sometimes even to ourselves, as we try to figure out who is to blame in the derailing of our own lives, when all could be so much better if we exercise our right to doing something.
A little side note.
I have been blessed with many good friends and family in my life, that is a paramount truth that lingers in my memory for many eons to come, even though all this resentment I feel from my seclusion and its natural consequences.
I am afraid I have fell into the pit of oblivion in what once was a path of joy in all my friends’ memory. How else can I explain the 60 people who attended my birthday party, last March. Perhaps it was the free candy that I was given out a bit throughout all Lisbon, which brought all of them there in the first place. Come to think of it, I do not know any of those people.
Wait a minute, was I in the right restaurant at all? I always wonder why the big sign on the door said happy birthday Albert, instead of Carlos. Hmm!
Be as it may, the world holds still many mysteries to me, besides this one.
Despite the silence of loved ones from back home, I am now facing the loud of worries of my mind towards a silent worrier in my own backyard.
Obviously, I am not referring to my kind neighbor who knocked at my door on a nice Saturday morning, claming that my Riverdance music was too loud. First of all, how can Riverdance ever be too loud? Secondly, what is the point of listen Riverdance, if we can’t make the walls tremble with the sound of 100 Irish step dancers?
In fact, my concerns focus more on a close friend in the fine city of Montreal, whose life seems destiny to wonder about the purpose of life in this mortal shell.
It is interesting to realize, that the worries that were so desperately conveyed to me, were very recurring to a few months of dwelling that I had to endure in the smelly nest that harbored me last year. I guess that throughout my existence, I have always been wondering for what dreams may come. Currently I am inclined to believe that they might just well be whatever we want them to be as long, as long as we put or mind to it.
Examples that immediately come to mind:
A friend of mine always loved Japan, and he set as his goal to one-day travel there and discover more about that society that pleases him so. Making that old cliché keep its truth about all good things come to those who wait. It seems now that his dream will see the glory sunshine of reality one year from now. An eternity to some, but just a blink a way to this dreamer, who realize that we have the power to make dreams come true.
My dear sister, who for many years dreamt of having painting classes; a short time ago indulge her self with such a golden opportunity of learning that allowed her to explore this creative facet that she believed within her only expectations.
Many more histories like that, are in the almanacs of each ones lives, if we only dare to read them with the unbiased scrutiny that sometimes we lack while ruling out many of our own potential choices.
As I grasp the meaning of the wisdom behind; if there is a will, there is a way; I realize that in all the paths that I have undertaken, with all the choices resulted from that, I always encountered hard hurdles which brought me to the bitter and tough reality. These obstacles blurred my vision, in terms of what an ideal world should be. And, I am sure that the answer lies in pursuing what we want to do.
If it is to make a journey to Europe during one year, or coming to study to Canada for six months, than let it be.
Eric Idle said it best, if we come back from nothing and if we’ll go back to nothing, what do we have to lose in the end, then?
The balance is quite simple to make; we can either enjoy our travels, as we indulge in the choices we have to make, in this constant walk on crossroads. Or, stand in one of countless corners and see all the others taking their opportunities to a success, which with some true commitment could have easily been ours in the first place.
Last year, I was living a nightmare just about a 1000-km away, as I saw the walls of my hopes crumbling down. I felt alone in the world, unable to relate to anyone about my fears of what else is there. When the illusions, I built around a make belief world, were shattered with the inescapable reality catching on and calling me to pay the bill of my own choices, I realized that there was something I had to do.
I had to go deep into the valley of my ego and enter into that place, where the hall of mirrors lays the truth. I gaze upon my reflection and saw that all the world may crumble down upon our feet, but the hope to build a new one, must never be put away in an oblivion vault, that we use as an excuse for all our inaction.
Choices have to be made at all time and even the option of not taking any, by just waiting for the outcome of a previous one, may also be a choice. In the end, conscience calls to see what were the final results that such preference led to.
It is always easy to find excuses to prevent us from going, rather than looking for good reasons of why should not stop. After all, laziness is such an easy fuel for the worrier that lurks inside all of us, whose expertise is to find the obvious negative things and put them out of proportion. Why not take the chance of being involved in something, taking it towards the goal we set for us, and then make an educated judgement of it’s worthiness.
What is there to lose?
I understand that all my friends and family are busy with their own predicaments of every ordinary day in the life, as I have my own. Yet, I take more care now in wondering about what life allows us to do, in opposition to what we are willing to for our lives.
To my worrying friend, I wish the wisdom of awareness about of the value of the choices that were made, and the outcomes that come from any commitment, instead of letting the castle fall down, and then simply say; I told you so.
To everyone else, including me, I wish that we may learn the value of friendships and its importance in our showdown with the infinite world of choices that lies ahead in every heart beat. I will try to be more patient with everyone else routines, as I am sure that someone is forgiving to my own sloppy memory. As I choose to write this little ache relief, I will am also choosing to pursue my dreams and let my friends be a part of them.
With our choices, we have the power to see what dreams may come, instead of let our impatient oversee the fact that some choices take time to develop, as a tree takes its time to grow after someone’s choice of planting a tiny little seed in the field of possibilities.
Listening: The Mood and the Melodies – Harold Budd
Reading: Fazes me Falta – Ines Pedrosa
Seeing: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang; Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory; The Ring; The Thing.
cocasman@zmail.pt
A few weeks after arriving to Montreal, I started to notice the increasingly scarce lack of news from my friends, a bit throughout the world.
Back then, I wondered about a conspiracy movement, I even had a name for it too. I called it – The Conspiracy of Silence.
Still, as time went on, I could not help to wonder who had been the true mute figure in this word play?
Me, who fled to a new reality in the hopes of finding my purpose in the world; or all of them who, to me, seem to be hiding way in their convenient bureaucratic routines. A commitment towards society made them slaves of a square like life, removing color, taste and what once was pleasure from their lives. How easy it is to blame it on the next person, for the faults of my lack of action. With the ability of a slick moron I let paranoia sink in and start shooting in all the directions possible, instead of the most probable, my own.
Even so, I guess, that we are all to blame in this silence plot, as we secretly avoid worrying about fellow friends and family, trusting that all is well, if no bad news are there to tell.
How we be little ourselves to this sloth like behavior that excuses us from any responsibility on any kind of worrying towards anybody and everybody. Sadly, sometimes even to ourselves, as we try to figure out who is to blame in the derailing of our own lives, when all could be so much better if we exercise our right to doing something.
A little side note.
I have been blessed with many good friends and family in my life, that is a paramount truth that lingers in my memory for many eons to come, even though all this resentment I feel from my seclusion and its natural consequences.
I am afraid I have fell into the pit of oblivion in what once was a path of joy in all my friends’ memory. How else can I explain the 60 people who attended my birthday party, last March. Perhaps it was the free candy that I was given out a bit throughout all Lisbon, which brought all of them there in the first place. Come to think of it, I do not know any of those people.
Wait a minute, was I in the right restaurant at all? I always wonder why the big sign on the door said happy birthday Albert, instead of Carlos. Hmm!
Be as it may, the world holds still many mysteries to me, besides this one.
Despite the silence of loved ones from back home, I am now facing the loud of worries of my mind towards a silent worrier in my own backyard.
Obviously, I am not referring to my kind neighbor who knocked at my door on a nice Saturday morning, claming that my Riverdance music was too loud. First of all, how can Riverdance ever be too loud? Secondly, what is the point of listen Riverdance, if we can’t make the walls tremble with the sound of 100 Irish step dancers?
In fact, my concerns focus more on a close friend in the fine city of Montreal, whose life seems destiny to wonder about the purpose of life in this mortal shell.
It is interesting to realize, that the worries that were so desperately conveyed to me, were very recurring to a few months of dwelling that I had to endure in the smelly nest that harbored me last year. I guess that throughout my existence, I have always been wondering for what dreams may come. Currently I am inclined to believe that they might just well be whatever we want them to be as long, as long as we put or mind to it.
Examples that immediately come to mind:
A friend of mine always loved Japan, and he set as his goal to one-day travel there and discover more about that society that pleases him so. Making that old cliché keep its truth about all good things come to those who wait. It seems now that his dream will see the glory sunshine of reality one year from now. An eternity to some, but just a blink a way to this dreamer, who realize that we have the power to make dreams come true.
My dear sister, who for many years dreamt of having painting classes; a short time ago indulge her self with such a golden opportunity of learning that allowed her to explore this creative facet that she believed within her only expectations.
Many more histories like that, are in the almanacs of each ones lives, if we only dare to read them with the unbiased scrutiny that sometimes we lack while ruling out many of our own potential choices.
As I grasp the meaning of the wisdom behind; if there is a will, there is a way; I realize that in all the paths that I have undertaken, with all the choices resulted from that, I always encountered hard hurdles which brought me to the bitter and tough reality. These obstacles blurred my vision, in terms of what an ideal world should be. And, I am sure that the answer lies in pursuing what we want to do.
If it is to make a journey to Europe during one year, or coming to study to Canada for six months, than let it be.
Eric Idle said it best, if we come back from nothing and if we’ll go back to nothing, what do we have to lose in the end, then?
The balance is quite simple to make; we can either enjoy our travels, as we indulge in the choices we have to make, in this constant walk on crossroads. Or, stand in one of countless corners and see all the others taking their opportunities to a success, which with some true commitment could have easily been ours in the first place.
Last year, I was living a nightmare just about a 1000-km away, as I saw the walls of my hopes crumbling down. I felt alone in the world, unable to relate to anyone about my fears of what else is there. When the illusions, I built around a make belief world, were shattered with the inescapable reality catching on and calling me to pay the bill of my own choices, I realized that there was something I had to do.
I had to go deep into the valley of my ego and enter into that place, where the hall of mirrors lays the truth. I gaze upon my reflection and saw that all the world may crumble down upon our feet, but the hope to build a new one, must never be put away in an oblivion vault, that we use as an excuse for all our inaction.
Choices have to be made at all time and even the option of not taking any, by just waiting for the outcome of a previous one, may also be a choice. In the end, conscience calls to see what were the final results that such preference led to.
It is always easy to find excuses to prevent us from going, rather than looking for good reasons of why should not stop. After all, laziness is such an easy fuel for the worrier that lurks inside all of us, whose expertise is to find the obvious negative things and put them out of proportion. Why not take the chance of being involved in something, taking it towards the goal we set for us, and then make an educated judgement of it’s worthiness.
What is there to lose?
I understand that all my friends and family are busy with their own predicaments of every ordinary day in the life, as I have my own. Yet, I take more care now in wondering about what life allows us to do, in opposition to what we are willing to for our lives.
To my worrying friend, I wish the wisdom of awareness about of the value of the choices that were made, and the outcomes that come from any commitment, instead of letting the castle fall down, and then simply say; I told you so.
To everyone else, including me, I wish that we may learn the value of friendships and its importance in our showdown with the infinite world of choices that lies ahead in every heart beat. I will try to be more patient with everyone else routines, as I am sure that someone is forgiving to my own sloppy memory. As I choose to write this little ache relief, I will am also choosing to pursue my dreams and let my friends be a part of them.
With our choices, we have the power to see what dreams may come, instead of let our impatient oversee the fact that some choices take time to develop, as a tree takes its time to grow after someone’s choice of planting a tiny little seed in the field of possibilities.
Listening: The Mood and the Melodies – Harold Budd
Reading: Fazes me Falta – Ines Pedrosa
Seeing: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang; Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory; The Ring; The Thing.
cocasman@zmail.pt
Thursday, April 08, 2004
All the screens are staged
.
Amazing as it may seem, I am quite happy with my stay here in Montreal.
Despite the negative temperatures or the solitude that a trip home brings... Everything is quite good.
Still, I think I am losing touch of my senses.
Hmmm... Anger Management.
I never watched the movie.
But still, I think it should tell alot about my current state of mind.
The feeling of competition is starting to hit upon me. I do not realize if it is because I am the oldest of the class; or if I am trying hard to make it work, so it has to work.
82,5% just made me feel like crap.
I remember that many years ago, I would be glad with every couple of 70% that I could gather. But now, I feel like I fail, everytime I go beneath the 90% mark... Why, because all I do is study, so it should count for something.
Am I demanding... sure
Life will come knocking on my door one day, saying hey carlos what about a stroll through mediocriaty land! Come on, it will be fun!
No, it's not.
Passion.
What can I do about passion?
What is passion for me at this stage?
Does anybody know?
Well that are those of you, who linger on with the notion of passion towards a particular issue in life? What is actually the worth of any passion if you do not have anyone to share it with?
Ok... Confession.
I am pissed...
I do not if it is with me... my colleagues, my routines, whatever it is, it is hitting hard.
And it has nothing to do with being in Montreal or anywhere else. I remember feeling pretty anoyed and pissed in Portugal too!
There is an element of frustration here involved!
What is itself? What is its nature?
I really do not Dr. Lecter!
I feel that I am losing myself in a pool of personality.
What am I? A shadow, an echo...
Whatever I am. I am a copy cat! Because, I just repeat what I am told. Either by a movie, by a teacher, by a friend.
I lack originality.
That is something that is striking me at this course.
I feel that all my creativity is unexistent. A mere vision of what I could have been, somehow!
What do I want to bring to my life?
I want to bring harmony.
I want to be able to be around other persons, and carry on with my life and do not get so emotionally involved.
Competition.
Who am I competing against? Myself, my colleagues? All of the above, plus the rest of the world? I wonder.
I am tired, I am hungry and i am angried. Not with the world, not at my colleagues, not at my friends, not at my family, not even at my sweet cats. I am angried at myself, for acting like a spoilled brat that does not know the difference of styles life can offer, and sticks to one, and presses the gage to full power.
For all that is worth, I will make a small quote....
All the screens are staged, and all the men and women are mere players doing their part.
...
and if you are dismayed, be cheerful now. These our acts have all unendend, and our actors will be melted into air, thin air.
and like the baseless fabric of this vision, it will leave not a byte behind.
This is such stuff as dreams are made off, and our little life is round with asleep!
Oh well!
I better be off then.
The Easter is around the corner.
I only wish I could write somemore.
I only wish I could overcome some hurdles that stand between me and my goals.
I think I will have to get inside the hall of mirrors and look back at all the different reflexions I can produce. Hopefully, one should be interesting enough to follow.
Until then.
cocasman@zmail.pt
Amazing as it may seem, I am quite happy with my stay here in Montreal.
Despite the negative temperatures or the solitude that a trip home brings... Everything is quite good.
Still, I think I am losing touch of my senses.
Hmmm... Anger Management.
I never watched the movie.
But still, I think it should tell alot about my current state of mind.
The feeling of competition is starting to hit upon me. I do not realize if it is because I am the oldest of the class; or if I am trying hard to make it work, so it has to work.
82,5% just made me feel like crap.
I remember that many years ago, I would be glad with every couple of 70% that I could gather. But now, I feel like I fail, everytime I go beneath the 90% mark... Why, because all I do is study, so it should count for something.
Am I demanding... sure
Life will come knocking on my door one day, saying hey carlos what about a stroll through mediocriaty land! Come on, it will be fun!
No, it's not.
Passion.
What can I do about passion?
What is passion for me at this stage?
Does anybody know?
Well that are those of you, who linger on with the notion of passion towards a particular issue in life? What is actually the worth of any passion if you do not have anyone to share it with?
Ok... Confession.
I am pissed...
I do not if it is with me... my colleagues, my routines, whatever it is, it is hitting hard.
And it has nothing to do with being in Montreal or anywhere else. I remember feeling pretty anoyed and pissed in Portugal too!
There is an element of frustration here involved!
What is itself? What is its nature?
I really do not Dr. Lecter!
I feel that I am losing myself in a pool of personality.
What am I? A shadow, an echo...
Whatever I am. I am a copy cat! Because, I just repeat what I am told. Either by a movie, by a teacher, by a friend.
I lack originality.
That is something that is striking me at this course.
I feel that all my creativity is unexistent. A mere vision of what I could have been, somehow!
What do I want to bring to my life?
I want to bring harmony.
I want to be able to be around other persons, and carry on with my life and do not get so emotionally involved.
Competition.
Who am I competing against? Myself, my colleagues? All of the above, plus the rest of the world? I wonder.
I am tired, I am hungry and i am angried. Not with the world, not at my colleagues, not at my friends, not at my family, not even at my sweet cats. I am angried at myself, for acting like a spoilled brat that does not know the difference of styles life can offer, and sticks to one, and presses the gage to full power.
For all that is worth, I will make a small quote....
All the screens are staged, and all the men and women are mere players doing their part.
...
and if you are dismayed, be cheerful now. These our acts have all unendend, and our actors will be melted into air, thin air.
and like the baseless fabric of this vision, it will leave not a byte behind.
This is such stuff as dreams are made off, and our little life is round with asleep!
Oh well!
I better be off then.
The Easter is around the corner.
I only wish I could write somemore.
I only wish I could overcome some hurdles that stand between me and my goals.
I think I will have to get inside the hall of mirrors and look back at all the different reflexions I can produce. Hopefully, one should be interesting enough to follow.
Until then.
cocasman@zmail.pt
Saturday, March 20, 2004
Montreal - early days
.
I made it!
I am finally here!
Actually, I have been here, for the past 10 days now.
With the luck of the angels, I have manage to have an apartment waiting for me, so close to the subway, that I can actually, hear the thoughts of the train driver, when he is in the previous station.
Many changes are happening in my life.
Two weeks ago, I was surrounded with people from my own country, celebrating my 27th birthday. I feel young and refresh.
I managed to put 60 people together in a room, singing me happy birthday... The most amazing thing is, I didn t have to pay them... I guess this is another good definition of friends.
Friend is someone that goes to your birthday without you having to pay for him or her to be there.
Alas, I still prefer the Space Ghost definition of what a friend is.
A friend is the same as an enemy, but just doesn have the courage to kill you.
Nah... Friends are great... Wherever they are, whomever they are... A cheers to you all... You know who you are...
So, here I am, in Montreal.
Friday Night, in a cyber cafe, enjoying the best hot chocolate of my life... So thick that the chocolate could actually choke me in the press of falling down on the esophagus... (is that the way you write that? - Adam Langton, please revise this.)
It has been an amazing week.
I started my classes with the magnificent 10 commandments of sound (my dear colleagues - 3 of them belong to the female side of the gender).
I bought a pair of speakers that has brought life not just to my own apartment but to the whole building where I live...
Thus far, nobody came with a machine gun to my apartment, threatening my life if I don t shut the music down... Who knows, maybe they like my wacky selection...
From Beethoven to Pearl Jam, passing by Bjork, Tears for Fears, Adiemus, the sweet sound of Vangelis, and of course my dear Peter Gabriel. The most amazing thing happens when I play Portuguese music... I think that the whole block of buildings just turns quiet... I don't exactly know if that is because of the powerful voice of the lead singer in my brothers band, or if just the quality of his music.
An amazing thing happen to my life.
I bought a cell phone.
To those who don't know me, that was quite a revolution in my life, as I always was a sort of an antagonist towards cell phones in Portugal. But due to my loneliness, I had to get something to allow me to communicate with my dear friends...
DEAR FRIENDS... Beware, I can communicate once again... and at the Friday Nights I am will be here at this Espresso place in St. Dennis Street! BUHAHA!
Even more amazing than that, I think I fell in love with my cell phone seller!!! I study all the companies of cell phones here, and it turned out that the TELUS company had the package that was just my wallet size, if you know what I mean.
She was the person with whom I talked more in these first days... Alas I only talked with her 2 times, but even so, we covered more issues than just the cell phone...
Dear friends... I need tips in how to make her want to go out with me... It would feel good to have a friend from outside my class mates... Just to be able to talk about something else.
Oh well.
What more can I say?
Cleanning, cooking, studying in the center of Montreal, the underground city, the nice looking women of this city that pass me by in the METRO, in the streets and in this passage on the Cybercafe... Oh well. I think I am on my way to some sort of happiness.
If indeed there is a will to do something, we will find a way to do it. I am that proof. My will was strong enough to fight the odds.
Now, I must keep on dreaming to find what more is lurking around, in my field of dreams.
Note to self, I must learn more about this keyboard, to avoid errors, must do more word proof revising...
Meanwhile, I am on the track to complete myself.
To all of you who believed in me, I thank you...
To all those who didn't, well one day, I will show you something.
My impression of Montreal is very positive, particularly about the sales person at the Telus stand in the St. Dennis Street.
Its time to go back home now.... My neighbor's are probably in need of some nice music.
Listening to Launch Radio Station! (Orbital - Sad but True)
Reading: Paulo Coelho - Brida (amazing book)
Studying: Acoustics, Consoles and Computer Design.
Thinking about all of you
I made it!
I am finally here!
Actually, I have been here, for the past 10 days now.
With the luck of the angels, I have manage to have an apartment waiting for me, so close to the subway, that I can actually, hear the thoughts of the train driver, when he is in the previous station.
Many changes are happening in my life.
Two weeks ago, I was surrounded with people from my own country, celebrating my 27th birthday. I feel young and refresh.
I managed to put 60 people together in a room, singing me happy birthday... The most amazing thing is, I didn t have to pay them... I guess this is another good definition of friends.
Friend is someone that goes to your birthday without you having to pay for him or her to be there.
Alas, I still prefer the Space Ghost definition of what a friend is.
A friend is the same as an enemy, but just doesn have the courage to kill you.
Nah... Friends are great... Wherever they are, whomever they are... A cheers to you all... You know who you are...
So, here I am, in Montreal.
Friday Night, in a cyber cafe, enjoying the best hot chocolate of my life... So thick that the chocolate could actually choke me in the press of falling down on the esophagus... (is that the way you write that? - Adam Langton, please revise this.)
It has been an amazing week.
I started my classes with the magnificent 10 commandments of sound (my dear colleagues - 3 of them belong to the female side of the gender).
I bought a pair of speakers that has brought life not just to my own apartment but to the whole building where I live...
Thus far, nobody came with a machine gun to my apartment, threatening my life if I don t shut the music down... Who knows, maybe they like my wacky selection...
From Beethoven to Pearl Jam, passing by Bjork, Tears for Fears, Adiemus, the sweet sound of Vangelis, and of course my dear Peter Gabriel. The most amazing thing happens when I play Portuguese music... I think that the whole block of buildings just turns quiet... I don't exactly know if that is because of the powerful voice of the lead singer in my brothers band, or if just the quality of his music.
An amazing thing happen to my life.
I bought a cell phone.
To those who don't know me, that was quite a revolution in my life, as I always was a sort of an antagonist towards cell phones in Portugal. But due to my loneliness, I had to get something to allow me to communicate with my dear friends...
DEAR FRIENDS... Beware, I can communicate once again... and at the Friday Nights I am will be here at this Espresso place in St. Dennis Street! BUHAHA!
Even more amazing than that, I think I fell in love with my cell phone seller!!! I study all the companies of cell phones here, and it turned out that the TELUS company had the package that was just my wallet size, if you know what I mean.
She was the person with whom I talked more in these first days... Alas I only talked with her 2 times, but even so, we covered more issues than just the cell phone...
Dear friends... I need tips in how to make her want to go out with me... It would feel good to have a friend from outside my class mates... Just to be able to talk about something else.
Oh well.
What more can I say?
Cleanning, cooking, studying in the center of Montreal, the underground city, the nice looking women of this city that pass me by in the METRO, in the streets and in this passage on the Cybercafe... Oh well. I think I am on my way to some sort of happiness.
If indeed there is a will to do something, we will find a way to do it. I am that proof. My will was strong enough to fight the odds.
Now, I must keep on dreaming to find what more is lurking around, in my field of dreams.
Note to self, I must learn more about this keyboard, to avoid errors, must do more word proof revising...
Meanwhile, I am on the track to complete myself.
To all of you who believed in me, I thank you...
To all those who didn't, well one day, I will show you something.
My impression of Montreal is very positive, particularly about the sales person at the Telus stand in the St. Dennis Street.
Its time to go back home now.... My neighbor's are probably in need of some nice music.
Listening to Launch Radio Station! (Orbital - Sad but True)
Reading: Paulo Coelho - Brida (amazing book)
Studying: Acoustics, Consoles and Computer Design.
Thinking about all of you
Sunday, February 29, 2004
Changes and rendezvous
.
Today is a very unique day!
The 29th of February happens once every four
years, to compensate the time elapse during the
rotation of the Earth around it's SUN.
This situation changes rarely, unlike the lifes
of the creatures that rule the surface of this
planet. Every second or so we the inhabbitants of
the Earth are submitted to varitions of fate,
called changes.
I will focus particularly on my case.
For the past eight months I have been working as
a submanager, class B-12 in the PLO Agua e Sal
spaceship, better known to all as a common
restaurant in the Lisbon Oceanarium. This
experience followed a 4 month period in Canada
that made me focus more on what I want out of
life. As such I went through some changes, with
the help of new and old friends, some close by
some as far as the farther Poseidon sea, I manage
to recover from a early life crises.
Today I am conteplating my last week on Portugal,
as I am about to embarc in the Montreal Odissey.
When I as an inconscient teenager, I lived in
dread of ever venturing beyond the borders of the
world that I knew with the overwhelming fear of
what could be beyond those walls that I don't
know.
Change allowed me to overcome fear and face what
the world had to offer in regions quite far from
the borders of my known teen-world.
Before I launch myself on this third venture
among the canadians I am preparing to leave the
known universe behind.
My birthday party, next tuesday, poses a
wonderful opportunity to reunite myself with
people from many stages of my life. Old friends
and new friends together in the same room,
allowing me to create such a vivid image of all
of them, that will never make me want to forget
where home is.
I will be seeing people that I haven't seen in
years, people that I haven't talked in years.
This rendezvous will be a change as well.
I feel touched by bringing together so many souls
that in a way or another have touched my own in a
very unique way.
My route to happiness starts with this certainty,
that a given point in my life I had a friend and
that I was happy with that friend. Now as I am
only a week away from leaving this world behind,
I realize that my happiness lies around as small
pockets of invisible energy that bring me closer
to what I have been looking for - Happiness for
me and everyone else.
For 8 months I committed my life to the
Restaurant and to give what I could of myself to
ensure that it would go the distance and that it
would have wings of it's own to fly. The bird is
lose now, and next tuesday will take 50 more
passangers that have changed my life in a way
that only in dreams I know how so.
Alas, not all the rendezvous that I desire are
possible. Still, instead of crying about all that
is not set to be, I will be glad in enjoying all
that it can be.
People are complex molecules that run freely in a
entropic system, their unique moments of
rendez-vous are enough to create massive changes
in the shape of the heart of everyone, even in
the image of that dragonfly's dream, where all of
this was created!
I don't mind changing as long as it is for the
best. I will keep on creating rendez-vous that
will help me grow beyond my borders and expend my
dreams to where they belong.
Listening: Immortal Memory by Lisa Gerard and
Patrick Cassidy
cocasman@zmail.pt
Today is a very unique day!
The 29th of February happens once every four
years, to compensate the time elapse during the
rotation of the Earth around it's SUN.
This situation changes rarely, unlike the lifes
of the creatures that rule the surface of this
planet. Every second or so we the inhabbitants of
the Earth are submitted to varitions of fate,
called changes.
I will focus particularly on my case.
For the past eight months I have been working as
a submanager, class B-12 in the PLO Agua e Sal
spaceship, better known to all as a common
restaurant in the Lisbon Oceanarium. This
experience followed a 4 month period in Canada
that made me focus more on what I want out of
life. As such I went through some changes, with
the help of new and old friends, some close by
some as far as the farther Poseidon sea, I manage
to recover from a early life crises.
Today I am conteplating my last week on Portugal,
as I am about to embarc in the Montreal Odissey.
When I as an inconscient teenager, I lived in
dread of ever venturing beyond the borders of the
world that I knew with the overwhelming fear of
what could be beyond those walls that I don't
know.
Change allowed me to overcome fear and face what
the world had to offer in regions quite far from
the borders of my known teen-world.
Before I launch myself on this third venture
among the canadians I am preparing to leave the
known universe behind.
My birthday party, next tuesday, poses a
wonderful opportunity to reunite myself with
people from many stages of my life. Old friends
and new friends together in the same room,
allowing me to create such a vivid image of all
of them, that will never make me want to forget
where home is.
I will be seeing people that I haven't seen in
years, people that I haven't talked in years.
This rendezvous will be a change as well.
I feel touched by bringing together so many souls
that in a way or another have touched my own in a
very unique way.
My route to happiness starts with this certainty,
that a given point in my life I had a friend and
that I was happy with that friend. Now as I am
only a week away from leaving this world behind,
I realize that my happiness lies around as small
pockets of invisible energy that bring me closer
to what I have been looking for - Happiness for
me and everyone else.
For 8 months I committed my life to the
Restaurant and to give what I could of myself to
ensure that it would go the distance and that it
would have wings of it's own to fly. The bird is
lose now, and next tuesday will take 50 more
passangers that have changed my life in a way
that only in dreams I know how so.
Alas, not all the rendezvous that I desire are
possible. Still, instead of crying about all that
is not set to be, I will be glad in enjoying all
that it can be.
People are complex molecules that run freely in a
entropic system, their unique moments of
rendez-vous are enough to create massive changes
in the shape of the heart of everyone, even in
the image of that dragonfly's dream, where all of
this was created!
I don't mind changing as long as it is for the
best. I will keep on creating rendez-vous that
will help me grow beyond my borders and expend my
dreams to where they belong.
Listening: Immortal Memory by Lisa Gerard and
Patrick Cassidy
cocasman@zmail.pt
Changes and rendezvous
.
Today is a very unique day!
The 29th of February happens once every four
years, to compensate the time elapse during the
rotation of the Earth around it's SUN.
This situation changes rarely, unlike the lifes
of the creatures that rule the surface of this
planet. Every second or so we the inhabbitants of the Earth are submitted to varitions of fate,
called changes.
I will focus particularly on my case.
For the past eight months I have been working as
a submanager, class B-12 in the PLO Agua e Sal
spaceship, better known to all as a common
restaurant in the Lisbon Oceanarium. This
experience followed a 4 month period in Canada
that made me focus more on what I want out of
life. As such I went through some changes, with
the help of new and old friends, some close by
some as far as the farther Poseidon sea, I manage
to recover from a early life crises.
Today I am conteplating my last week on Portugal,
as I am about to embarc in the Montreal Odissey.
When I as an inconscient teenager, I lived in
dread of ever venturing beyond the borders of the
world that I knew with the overwhelming fear of
what could be beyond those walls that I don't
know.
Change allowed me to overcome fear and face what
the world had to offer in regions quite far from
the borders of my known teen-world.
Before I launch myself on this third venture
among the canadians I am preparing to leave the
known universe behind.
My birthday party, next tuesday, poses a
wonderful opportunity to reunite myself with
people from many stages of my life. Old friends
and new friends together in the same room,
allowing me to create such a vivid image of all
of them, that will never make me want to forget
where home is.
I will be seeing people that I haven't seen in
years, people that I haven't talked in years.
This rendezvous will be a change as well.
I feel touched by bringing together so many souls
that in a way or another have touched my own in a
very unique way.
My route to happiness starts with this certainty,
that a given point in my life I had a friend and
that I was happy with that friend. Now as I am
only a week away from leaving this world behind,
I realize that my happiness lies around as small
pockets of invisible energy that bring me closer
to what I have been looking for - Happiness for
me and everyone else.
For 8 months I committed my life to the
Restaurant and to give what I could of myself to
ensure that it would go the distance and that it
would have wings of it's own to fly. The bird is
lose now, and next tuesday will take 50 more
passangers that have changed my life in a way
that only in dreams I know how so.
Alas, not all the rendezvous that I desire are
possible. Still, instead of crying about all that
is not set to be, I will be glad in enjoying all
that it can be.
People are complex molecules that run freely in a
entropic system, their unique moments of
rendez-vous are enough to create massive changes
in the shape of the heart of everyone, even in
the image of that dragonfly's dream, where all of
this was created!
I don't mind changing as long as it is for the
best. I will keep on creating rendez-vous that
will help me grow beyond my borders and expend my
dreams to where they belong.
Listening: Immortal Memory by Lisa Gerard and
Patrick Cassidy
cocasman@zmail.pt
Today is a very unique day!
The 29th of February happens once every four
years, to compensate the time elapse during the
rotation of the Earth around it's SUN.
This situation changes rarely, unlike the lifes
of the creatures that rule the surface of this
planet. Every second or so we the inhabbitants of the Earth are submitted to varitions of fate,
called changes.
I will focus particularly on my case.
For the past eight months I have been working as
a submanager, class B-12 in the PLO Agua e Sal
spaceship, better known to all as a common
restaurant in the Lisbon Oceanarium. This
experience followed a 4 month period in Canada
that made me focus more on what I want out of
life. As such I went through some changes, with
the help of new and old friends, some close by
some as far as the farther Poseidon sea, I manage
to recover from a early life crises.
Today I am conteplating my last week on Portugal,
as I am about to embarc in the Montreal Odissey.
When I as an inconscient teenager, I lived in
dread of ever venturing beyond the borders of the
world that I knew with the overwhelming fear of
what could be beyond those walls that I don't
know.
Change allowed me to overcome fear and face what
the world had to offer in regions quite far from
the borders of my known teen-world.
Before I launch myself on this third venture
among the canadians I am preparing to leave the
known universe behind.
My birthday party, next tuesday, poses a
wonderful opportunity to reunite myself with
people from many stages of my life. Old friends
and new friends together in the same room,
allowing me to create such a vivid image of all
of them, that will never make me want to forget
where home is.
I will be seeing people that I haven't seen in
years, people that I haven't talked in years.
This rendezvous will be a change as well.
I feel touched by bringing together so many souls
that in a way or another have touched my own in a
very unique way.
My route to happiness starts with this certainty,
that a given point in my life I had a friend and
that I was happy with that friend. Now as I am
only a week away from leaving this world behind,
I realize that my happiness lies around as small
pockets of invisible energy that bring me closer
to what I have been looking for - Happiness for
me and everyone else.
For 8 months I committed my life to the
Restaurant and to give what I could of myself to
ensure that it would go the distance and that it
would have wings of it's own to fly. The bird is
lose now, and next tuesday will take 50 more
passangers that have changed my life in a way
that only in dreams I know how so.
Alas, not all the rendezvous that I desire are
possible. Still, instead of crying about all that
is not set to be, I will be glad in enjoying all
that it can be.
People are complex molecules that run freely in a
entropic system, their unique moments of
rendez-vous are enough to create massive changes
in the shape of the heart of everyone, even in
the image of that dragonfly's dream, where all of
this was created!
I don't mind changing as long as it is for the
best. I will keep on creating rendez-vous that
will help me grow beyond my borders and expend my
dreams to where they belong.
Listening: Immortal Memory by Lisa Gerard and
Patrick Cassidy
cocasman@zmail.pt
Sunday, February 08, 2004
Morals - First Draft
.
A friend of mine asked me to answer a 7 questions sheet.
Here are the answers.
It's still a first draft, but I guess it has the main ideas that I wanted to say.
I hope you might
Enjoy
1-a.) What do you consider to be important moral values?
The On-line Merriam-Webster definition for moral is:
moral
Function: adjective
Text: 1 conforming to a standard of what is right and good
Synonyms ethical, moralistic, noble, principled, righteous, right-minded, virtuous
Related Word good, right; conscientious, honest, honorable, just, scrupulous, upright; chaste, decent, modest, pure
Contrasted Words amoral, nonmoral, unmoral
My personal insight about morality relates to what is fair. As such I would define that a moral person is someone who has an overall of view of any particular situation and is able to act according to what the person reason calls for.
I fell that I must go back a bit.
Moral values depend clearly on the upbringing of each subject. For instance, my Portuguese education finds it abhorring to serve a dog as a main course, while a Chinese person would consider it to be a common meal in every day life.
In Portugal, we have a strong Christian influence; therefore, we are bounded to the 10 commandments of Moses and teachings of Christ, to define our morals. Obviously, by avoiding the 7 Deadly Sins one can be said to be acting according to Christian Morals. Hence by avoiding:
Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.
Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation.
Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.
Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.
Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.
Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.
Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.
Opposed to this come the Virtues, that supposedly are the building blocks for a moral person. Directly, one can be moral according to the Christian Religion if he has:
Faith equals belief and trust. It can also be said that a person, living in accordance to fidelity, loyalty and who has sound conviction of its reasons, without falling into a blind fanatic behaviour, is someone who has faith. The distinction is hard to make sometimes.
Hope comes with desire, followed by the belief that something will happen. Hope is also reliance in someone, leading to great expectations towards someone or something. Personally, I find it more moral to have great expectations about someone than something, although something might indirectly reveal an outcome of a expectation I had about someone.
Charity is a synonym of generosity, a benevolent gesture towards someone who truly needs assistance at given point. It is also usual to define it as a merciful act where one is being helpful to another. Many times people see it as a negative thing to accept charity or the mercy of someone; it’s probably a common dispute between charity and pride!
Fortitude this virtue is often confused with pride, when in fact means strength, courage, endurance and resoluteness. This virtue is essential to overcome a particular hurdle to a self or another.
Justice is the ability of being impartial and fair, to be able to pass an equal judgement regardless of the parties involved. The persons who are just are often called righteous able to dispassionate towards a given argument. Justice it’s all about truth.
Temperance involves the self-mastery art of one to restrain the emotional urges through reason, sobriety and frugality.
Prudence often comes with wisdom, allowing to a person to be careful, vigilant. A prudent person is someone who knows to be discrete and thoughtful at same time, henceforth being prepared for what things may come.
However, all that is too much is, nevertheless, too much, by taking all these virtues to an extreme one might fall into the deadly sins category.
I truly believe that if a person takes time to put in practice all these virtues in a most balanced way, then a person will find the harmony that ultimately will lead to a moral path.
1.b) What are your strongest morals?
Personally, I believe that moral goes hand in hand with a simple principle, respect. Yet, this principle is very difficult to cope if one tends to be selfish.
I would say that if I say I respect a person then I won’t interfere with that person’s space through aggression, manipulation or any kind of devious thought that I might have.
In my own way, I try to be just, that’s why must of time I fell that I thrive to be selfless and prudent.
2) What would you define to be a "good" person? a "bad" person?
Immediately, I could say that a good person is someone that follows all the virtues in harmony, while the bad person chooses the path defined by the 7 deadly sins.
In more general terms, a bad person would be someone who would live to it’s own agenda, without realizing the consequence of his actions towards others. Worse, a really bad person is someone who is aware of the nature and the outcome of his behaviour and chooses to pursue with what he has in mind.
Opposed to that, a good person will always define what actions to take while considering what’s good for the majority while minimizing the consequences of the actions to the minority who will suffer from the outcome. A good person will conveniently define its steps towards solving problems in the best possible way. In contrast, a bad person will create problems, without caring for the detriment of the ones involved.
3) How important is family?
Once I have read somewhere that family are the group of friends that we are given upon birth, which he don’t choose. In the current society, family comprises the main structure in transmitting the fundaments, the rules in which our civilization is build upon. A stable society depends on the conformity of its members.
Family plays the role of early programming. The offspring are raised according the family morals. The definition of morals might vary with the accordance to each one’s importance. For instance, there might be families who find it more importance to be just, while others are more love based.
I find that family is essential in transmitting knowledge and wisdom, as such this will help the newborn define it’s own moral behaviour towards the community that where he now belongs to.
4) How important is religion?
I see religion as an ancestral part of the society, created to explain all the questions that leaped the common sense, such as the beginning and the end, the why and the how of life. Meanwhile, as the years went by, religion assumed the teaching role in the western societies. As such, the Christian church controlled the first schools and universities.
The same type of behaviour can be seen in other societies, where the teaching role of the predominant religion is only emphasized through the behaviour of the members of that particular society.
Nowadays, religion is facing a battle with the freedom of speech while bound to the principles of the rules of the past. I believe that religion has important principles to teach to all, in order to help define a moral more appropriated to all, where the virtues can be equally put in practice without prejudice to anyone. However, the dark chapters of some religions in the past make a crescent part of the population to doubt on the fair role of religion in today’s appropriate morals.
Bottom line, I believe religion has an important role in society as a teaching tool where all can benefit from the knowledge acquired.
5) Is bettering the community important to you?
I believe that the community as a whole has an enormous potential in overcoming social and political difficulties, that everyday seem to be a growing as a cancer in modern society. For instance, the ability to blame it one someone else instead of taking charge to solve a particular issue is a common behaviour that one can see just by observing.
I believe that the community can be bettered if there is a way to aware people to the potential they have as a group to produce changes for the best. People become immoral, when they assume that the responsibility for the problems of the community depends on someone else. This is a typical sloth example that no doubt leads to immoral behaviour.
I believe that the modern communities lack education at many levels, which reflects the negligence towards particular issues that corrupt the world in such a sad form. In a large measure it all comes down to respect – a two-way autoroute that leads to accomplishment through selfless actions.
6) How would you personally handle a conflict with your parents?
I love my parents, but most of times I forget that they are who they are.
I have a better understanding with my mom than with my dad whose advanced 73 year old age makes him a more demanding sort of person. I feel that my father is old not because he has lived the hours he did but mostly because he assumed a lay back posture through out the last 20 years of his life. My mother is an hectic person that despises sloth in the most pure form.
A typical way to solve a problem or a conflict is to approach them individually, as they are distinct in their nature. So to deal a problem with my mom, I would talk to my dad, and vice-versa. Usually, they talk about it before I face the one who is directly involved. Therefore, it is usual to talk to them about conflicts and realize that they already have a view or a point towards it. With my father I lose my temper easily, while with my mom I respect more.
7) Are there any barriers in your everyday life that prevent you from resolving conflicts?
I am a very passive person, which makes me difficult to cope with conflicts. I feel that as I get more involved with people, I learn to be more assertive and I am more alert in ways to avoid conflict instead of solving them.
Throughout my adolescence years I developed a self-pity attitude and a low self-esteem, which resulted in many personal depressions towards facing particular problems.
In my everyday life I try to avoid these thoughts as they make me my own worse enemy.
Usually, I try to solve problems by simplify them to there basic sense, however there are moments where I don’t seem to be able to decompose a problem to it’s simpler building blocks, that poses as a major barrier in overcoming conflicts.
I try to be a person full with virtues and assume a positive attitude towards all in general. Usually, I use humour to soften the atmosphere of a conflict site. I find it to be beneficial if I use humour and then simultaneous present a solution to ease the conflict.
A common barrier that I have is to tell people what to do, when I have to. How to explain people the need to do and make my argument stick, particularly when I feel that I am right. In the past, I would assume that it would be better not to argue any more and let anyone have it their way.
I tend to be oversensitive to people with people for whom I develop a great friendship.
Despise is the worse thing anyone who I call a friend can do to me. It shuts me off to a primordial state of confusing and sadness.
Many other barriers come to me everyday, but I try to solve them day-by-day, by believing in me while being true to myself.
cocasman@zmail.pt
A friend of mine asked me to answer a 7 questions sheet.
Here are the answers.
It's still a first draft, but I guess it has the main ideas that I wanted to say.
I hope you might
Enjoy
1-a.) What do you consider to be important moral values?
The On-line Merriam-Webster definition for moral is:
moral
Function: adjective
Text: 1 conforming to a standard of what is right and good
Synonyms ethical, moralistic, noble, principled, righteous, right-minded, virtuous
Related Word good, right; conscientious, honest, honorable, just, scrupulous, upright; chaste, decent, modest, pure
Contrasted Words amoral, nonmoral, unmoral
My personal insight about morality relates to what is fair. As such I would define that a moral person is someone who has an overall of view of any particular situation and is able to act according to what the person reason calls for.
I fell that I must go back a bit.
Moral values depend clearly on the upbringing of each subject. For instance, my Portuguese education finds it abhorring to serve a dog as a main course, while a Chinese person would consider it to be a common meal in every day life.
In Portugal, we have a strong Christian influence; therefore, we are bounded to the 10 commandments of Moses and teachings of Christ, to define our morals. Obviously, by avoiding the 7 Deadly Sins one can be said to be acting according to Christian Morals. Hence by avoiding:
Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.
Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation.
Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.
Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.
Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.
Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.
Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.
Opposed to this come the Virtues, that supposedly are the building blocks for a moral person. Directly, one can be moral according to the Christian Religion if he has:
Faith equals belief and trust. It can also be said that a person, living in accordance to fidelity, loyalty and who has sound conviction of its reasons, without falling into a blind fanatic behaviour, is someone who has faith. The distinction is hard to make sometimes.
Hope comes with desire, followed by the belief that something will happen. Hope is also reliance in someone, leading to great expectations towards someone or something. Personally, I find it more moral to have great expectations about someone than something, although something might indirectly reveal an outcome of a expectation I had about someone.
Charity is a synonym of generosity, a benevolent gesture towards someone who truly needs assistance at given point. It is also usual to define it as a merciful act where one is being helpful to another. Many times people see it as a negative thing to accept charity or the mercy of someone; it’s probably a common dispute between charity and pride!
Fortitude this virtue is often confused with pride, when in fact means strength, courage, endurance and resoluteness. This virtue is essential to overcome a particular hurdle to a self or another.
Justice is the ability of being impartial and fair, to be able to pass an equal judgement regardless of the parties involved. The persons who are just are often called righteous able to dispassionate towards a given argument. Justice it’s all about truth.
Temperance involves the self-mastery art of one to restrain the emotional urges through reason, sobriety and frugality.
Prudence often comes with wisdom, allowing to a person to be careful, vigilant. A prudent person is someone who knows to be discrete and thoughtful at same time, henceforth being prepared for what things may come.
However, all that is too much is, nevertheless, too much, by taking all these virtues to an extreme one might fall into the deadly sins category.
I truly believe that if a person takes time to put in practice all these virtues in a most balanced way, then a person will find the harmony that ultimately will lead to a moral path.
1.b) What are your strongest morals?
Personally, I believe that moral goes hand in hand with a simple principle, respect. Yet, this principle is very difficult to cope if one tends to be selfish.
I would say that if I say I respect a person then I won’t interfere with that person’s space through aggression, manipulation or any kind of devious thought that I might have.
In my own way, I try to be just, that’s why must of time I fell that I thrive to be selfless and prudent.
2) What would you define to be a "good" person? a "bad" person?
Immediately, I could say that a good person is someone that follows all the virtues in harmony, while the bad person chooses the path defined by the 7 deadly sins.
In more general terms, a bad person would be someone who would live to it’s own agenda, without realizing the consequence of his actions towards others. Worse, a really bad person is someone who is aware of the nature and the outcome of his behaviour and chooses to pursue with what he has in mind.
Opposed to that, a good person will always define what actions to take while considering what’s good for the majority while minimizing the consequences of the actions to the minority who will suffer from the outcome. A good person will conveniently define its steps towards solving problems in the best possible way. In contrast, a bad person will create problems, without caring for the detriment of the ones involved.
3) How important is family?
Once I have read somewhere that family are the group of friends that we are given upon birth, which he don’t choose. In the current society, family comprises the main structure in transmitting the fundaments, the rules in which our civilization is build upon. A stable society depends on the conformity of its members.
Family plays the role of early programming. The offspring are raised according the family morals. The definition of morals might vary with the accordance to each one’s importance. For instance, there might be families who find it more importance to be just, while others are more love based.
I find that family is essential in transmitting knowledge and wisdom, as such this will help the newborn define it’s own moral behaviour towards the community that where he now belongs to.
4) How important is religion?
I see religion as an ancestral part of the society, created to explain all the questions that leaped the common sense, such as the beginning and the end, the why and the how of life. Meanwhile, as the years went by, religion assumed the teaching role in the western societies. As such, the Christian church controlled the first schools and universities.
The same type of behaviour can be seen in other societies, where the teaching role of the predominant religion is only emphasized through the behaviour of the members of that particular society.
Nowadays, religion is facing a battle with the freedom of speech while bound to the principles of the rules of the past. I believe that religion has important principles to teach to all, in order to help define a moral more appropriated to all, where the virtues can be equally put in practice without prejudice to anyone. However, the dark chapters of some religions in the past make a crescent part of the population to doubt on the fair role of religion in today’s appropriate morals.
Bottom line, I believe religion has an important role in society as a teaching tool where all can benefit from the knowledge acquired.
5) Is bettering the community important to you?
I believe that the community as a whole has an enormous potential in overcoming social and political difficulties, that everyday seem to be a growing as a cancer in modern society. For instance, the ability to blame it one someone else instead of taking charge to solve a particular issue is a common behaviour that one can see just by observing.
I believe that the community can be bettered if there is a way to aware people to the potential they have as a group to produce changes for the best. People become immoral, when they assume that the responsibility for the problems of the community depends on someone else. This is a typical sloth example that no doubt leads to immoral behaviour.
I believe that the modern communities lack education at many levels, which reflects the negligence towards particular issues that corrupt the world in such a sad form. In a large measure it all comes down to respect – a two-way autoroute that leads to accomplishment through selfless actions.
6) How would you personally handle a conflict with your parents?
I love my parents, but most of times I forget that they are who they are.
I have a better understanding with my mom than with my dad whose advanced 73 year old age makes him a more demanding sort of person. I feel that my father is old not because he has lived the hours he did but mostly because he assumed a lay back posture through out the last 20 years of his life. My mother is an hectic person that despises sloth in the most pure form.
A typical way to solve a problem or a conflict is to approach them individually, as they are distinct in their nature. So to deal a problem with my mom, I would talk to my dad, and vice-versa. Usually, they talk about it before I face the one who is directly involved. Therefore, it is usual to talk to them about conflicts and realize that they already have a view or a point towards it. With my father I lose my temper easily, while with my mom I respect more.
7) Are there any barriers in your everyday life that prevent you from resolving conflicts?
I am a very passive person, which makes me difficult to cope with conflicts. I feel that as I get more involved with people, I learn to be more assertive and I am more alert in ways to avoid conflict instead of solving them.
Throughout my adolescence years I developed a self-pity attitude and a low self-esteem, which resulted in many personal depressions towards facing particular problems.
In my everyday life I try to avoid these thoughts as they make me my own worse enemy.
Usually, I try to solve problems by simplify them to there basic sense, however there are moments where I don’t seem to be able to decompose a problem to it’s simpler building blocks, that poses as a major barrier in overcoming conflicts.
I try to be a person full with virtues and assume a positive attitude towards all in general. Usually, I use humour to soften the atmosphere of a conflict site. I find it to be beneficial if I use humour and then simultaneous present a solution to ease the conflict.
A common barrier that I have is to tell people what to do, when I have to. How to explain people the need to do and make my argument stick, particularly when I feel that I am right. In the past, I would assume that it would be better not to argue any more and let anyone have it their way.
I tend to be oversensitive to people with people for whom I develop a great friendship.
Despise is the worse thing anyone who I call a friend can do to me. It shuts me off to a primordial state of confusing and sadness.
Many other barriers come to me everyday, but I try to solve them day-by-day, by believing in me while being true to myself.
cocasman@zmail.pt
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