Shit in… shit out

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In each night I realise that, I slowly let my brain melt a little each day with somebody else’s message carried by the cathode ray tube, that shines behind the view screen in a borrowed living room.
Not a easy thing to live everyday exchanging some words in trade for some food and shelter, or kindness. Where is my kindness?
I think I left it on top of the refrigerator, on a house I once lived. It was quite cold close to that refrigerator.
Colder than the refrigerator itself!
One might think that the purpose of the refrigerator, in the former mentioned mansion was to keep the shadows of the walls from freezing to death, in such an inauspicious environment.
I am not going back there to get it. My self-esteem is also trapped there, somewhere, once some chapter of the past where all was an illusion in the hall of mirrors.
So, I wonder now, in the land of the mortals, who, like myself prey on the souls of those who seek for attention, whose thirst is relieved by sharing a shoulder, a smile and just a few hours of sincere comprehension.
The disease of attention spreads quickly, if one forgets that the road goes both ways, and that what comes in, must go out somewhere.
It is like that process I learn in audio school. You can only improve so much, even with all that machinery at your disposal, there is not a voice enhancer that will make any Joe be an ultimate superstar. Shit in… shit out… they say, the machine can only boost whatever crap you feed into.
And so is life. If for a life a person is fed crap in the form of sentences, we should not expect that the finest heir to Shakespeare thrown is right there, ready to be. We better expect him, not to be.
I have been eating the cathode ray matter for so long, that I can already be the shit spitter. My goodness, I should be careful, or I might be the living proof of such urban legend as the own of the shitty boy, whose head is full of shit. The two possibilities in the legend were, either a fly will enter, or shit will come out thru the hole that was once called mouth.
Disgusting, I hear your skulls shouting. Indeed, it is disgusting.
Do I have any potential than not to complain about life and write about it, sporadically, as if I was a worthy writer?
Who wants to read the words of someone who complains?
Hell, I sure do not. That is why I put them here, so that they live my brain alone, and that if I might see them again, I can feel relieved that the shit the was in, is now out.
I guess I have been enduring with lots of this.
Time to do something about it.
May be a stroll to the bathroom of the mind, where one can purify the thought channels from such revolt.
If only it was as simple as wishful thinking.

cocasman@zmail.pt

Chronicles of the Dark Side - Chapter 2

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Leaving the metal detector area behind, Lord Sidious and Darth Vader proceed to the gate of their flight to Montreal. While, they wait for the call to embark, Darth Vader proceeds to the bathroom.
-Master!
-What is it, Lord Vader?
-I ask to be excused for more pressing matters.
-How so?
-I feel an increase of the force’s influence in the dark side of my bladder.
-Too much information, for my concern. You are excused. However, try not to be too dilatory in your incursion to the mans room on this terminal.
-Yes, my Master!
In the bathroom, Darth Vader, relieves himself from all the needs that his bladder called for, using the mechanical deject extractor (Bladder 9000).
- Bladder evacuation complete. No anomalies found during the procedure.- so said the internal diagnostic unit, which surveys the remaining biological units that are functional in Darth Vader.
To keep appearances, Lord Vader, proceeds to the lavatory to mimic the earthlings custom of washing hands upon finishing their duties in the toilet. After washing his gloves, Darth Vader, looks intrigued to the towel system that is next to the lavatory.
A man who was washing his hands also, notices the confusion behaviour in Darth Vader, while facing the towel system. Trying to help him out, the man says.
-Do you have one of those diseases in your skin man?
-I have no disease. I just want to use the mechanism to try these gloves.
-Oh! I totally understand, you . I can help you out. You must be a latex lover, right? I know all about that you see, my wife was a cousin that he has this obsession in latex, and his always wearing those latex around the house. In your case it must be an Halloween custom right!
-HOW DO YOU MAKE IT WORK?
-Oh! Pull the towel to you!
Darth Vader tries to pull, but he proceeds with care, not to cause too much suspicion and noise. The towel does not move. After a few unsuccessful attempts, the man then adds:
-Not like that! You have to pull it with force. Use the force, man!
Upon hearing these words, Darth Vader immediately turns to the man and grabs him on the neck using just one hand (with a wet glove) to raises him from the floor, asking:
-What are your intentions in this planet? How many Jedi Knights followed us into this system? How did you tracked us down?
The man gasps almost out of breath, while the dark figure in front of him impatiently man:
-Your silence, will not save you, puny warrior.
-I am no puny warrior, I meant force for the towel
-Do not try to deceive me, I am sure that Obi-wan put you up to this. To make a mockery out of me. He can not stand the fact that I am the Master now and he is a weak tutor.
P.A. system starts.
-To all passengers heading to Montreal, the gate of departure has changed, the new departure gate is in gate 9. The boarding for this flight will suffer a small delay. We …
Realising these words, Darth Vader, quickly puts the man down, saying to him:
-You are in luck Jedi, I have a flight to take. Do not attempt to follow us, or you will face your doom!
Rushing back to the previous flight gate where he had been with Lord Sidious, Darth Vader looks for his master, who is looking at the airport plant located at one corner.
-Lord Vader!
-I am here Master!
-Your little expedition to the men’s bathroom took exactly 9 minutes and 4 seconds.
-Yes, Master!
-I am not please. See to it, that you improve your evacuation system. We are traveling on a tight schedule.
-Forgive me, Master.
-Let us proceed to gate 9.
Both of them start a long march through the hallways of the airport, trying to reach their gate still on time. The PA system starts again
-We inform the passengers that the flight to Montreal is now boarding in gate 9. In apologize for any inconvenience.
-Lord Vader, we must hurry!
-Yes Master!
-I will climb on to your back, so that we can move quicker. Use your powers to clear the path, and make us lighter.
-As you wish, Master!
As spoken, Lord Sidious climbed to the shoulders of Darth Vader. Like he was command to do, he used his powers to move people from the way, and even float in some passages. They hovered over a group of 50 nuns who were in line to board a flight bond to Kathmandu. Vader made a whole line of passengers slide to the left, leaving them safe passage. Lord Sidious, from high on top Lord Vader’s back screamed to the crowd:
-Get out of the way, pitiful fools.
They still managed to throw down some more people, when at last they reached, their flight gate. Immediately, Lord Sidious hopped of Darth Vader s back and proceeded towards the lady managing the passengers entrance.
-Hello sir! Good afternoon!
-Oh! Good afternoon! Did you hear that Lord Vader!? The young lady speaks of a good afternoon!
-I am sorry sir! I did not mean to offend!
-THIS AFTERNOON IS NOT HAPPENING AS I HAD FORSEEN. – Lord Sidious shouted with such a loud tone, that people heard his voice on the far end of the hallway. The voice was so powerful that the echo came back as “seen, een, een…”
Finally, both boarded their flight and proceeded to their seats. As they expected, they were separated by one passenger. Lord Sidious, tried to use a diplomatic way to approach the problem.
-Kind sir! My friend and me would like to travel together, since we have pressing matters to discuss, during this flight. Would it be possible, if you move over to one of the sides!?
-Listen Bozo. I bought this ticket, and I ain’t moving, got that. Now, just sit down and enjoy the rest of the flight in the places that have been assign to you.
-Dear sir, I see you have no wish in cooperating with us. I must insist that you relinquish the seat in our behalf.
-I told you old man! You and your black doll there will just have to sit on your assigned places.
Darth Vader immediately, pulls out his light sabre, cuts the obnoxious man into 5 parts, proceeds to the toilet room, and comes back in 5 seconds.
The rest of the passengers observe in shock to all of this. As the first female passenger prepares to scream, lord Sidious focus his energy into a collective trance, saying in a monochord voice:
-HUMANS OF THIS FLIGHT, YOU DID NOT WITNESSED ANY OF THESE EVENTS THAT LEAD TO THE DISPOSAL OF OUR FELLOW PASSENGER.
-WE DID NOT WATCH ANY OF THESE EVENTS THAT LED TO THE DISPOSAL OF OUR FELLOW PASSENGER – the passengers said in a unisons voice.
-YOU WILL GO BACK TO YOUR OWN LIVES
-WE WILL GO BACK TO OUR OWN LIVES
-CORUSCANT RULES
-CORUSCANT RULES – the passengers repeated
-Coruscant rules, Master?
-Yes, Lord Vader! It will not be long that the power of the mighty empire will be felt here, in this pathetic planet as well. I better start my mission sooner than late. Don’t you agree, Lord Vader?
-Yes, Master.
-Excellent! Fetch me a stewardess, my thirst grows with all these efforts.
Darth Vader and Lord Sidious sit, not before pressing the button that calls for the stewardess. After a short while, someone comes to help them.
-Can I help you, sir?
-Yes, you can. Please bring me a glass of fresh water.
The stewardess brings a glass and prepares to pour the water, when Lord Sidious says:
-My poor child! Can’t you see that this glass is not in a proper condition. Bring me another
The stewardess unwillingly goes to get a new glass, repeating the intension of pouring, when once again:
-I am sorry, this glass is perfectly unacceptable either. Please take me to see the cabinet where you have the glasses.
-I am sorry sir, I am not allowed!
-YOU WILL TAKE ME TO SEE THE GLASSES.
-I WILL TAKE YOU TO SEE THE GLASSES.
Lord Sidious examined the glasses attentively and realized that they are all unacceptable for him, and he said to the stewardess in trance.
-WIPE THESE GLASSES. ALL OF THEM.
He waited for her to clean a shelf of glasses and said:
-Ah! That one is much better! Continue, my child!
Lord Sidious brought to his seat the cleaned glass and pour the water from the bottle that the stewardess had left behind.
-This is much better!
PA system
-Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, we should be taking off soon. Please keep tie your seat-belts and retrieve from smoking. After take off we will start our entertainment feature STAR WARS. In my behalf and on behalf of the crew, you hope that you have an enjoyable flight.
-Ah yes! I now foresee a most interesting flight! Don’t you agree Lord Vader?
Darth Vader did not replied.
-Lord Vader?
-I am sorry my Master. I had to take a pill of Dramamine.
-Really?
-Yes, Master! I get nauseas in these jet airplanes.
-Yes! It will be an interesting flight indeed!

To be continued.

Monster

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Once, I woke up as a monster…
It was not me…
It could not be me.
My voice, my demeanour had changed.
I was mean to people, everything that I did, I would do it for me, and for nobody else’s interest.
I was trapped inside my own personality, that I had created.
My focus has gone, I would not indulge attention to anybody, based on the fact that I was not interested in hearing nobody.
I grew bigger, fatter, and balder too…
I was the beast from one of Grimm’s tales, brought down to the reality of the common man.
People started calling me Hyde. At first I could not understand why, but then I had realized. It was not may name they were calling… they were looking for refuge, a safe-passage from the path of the monster, from me.
In me he lives, and without control he bursts out, like a rage from the skies, and attacks love ones with no mercy… it feeds on impatience and I call it wrath…
In me I kept the last tear of humanity, that hopeful will drawn the beast within me.
As I look upon the tall buildings, I wonder in awe… who am I? What am I here for? Will I ever cry from high above… or will I pass down to lair of the lord of the flies and spend eternity in abhorrer.
In this, the last drop of mankind in me, I leave my hopes for success… for the beast takes over when I cannot rest…
Today, I go to bed and I take the monster in me, in hopes that tomorrow I will awake up free to be who I want to be.

cocasman@zmail.pt

Chronicles of the Dark Side

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Chancellor Palpatine, finishes another day’s work in the republic, and gets on his overcoat to head back home. !
Upon getting home, the Chancellor heads down to the basement, where we puts a more comfortable set of dark clothes. The feeling of the Dark Side is more present in him now, assuming the true identity of Lord Sidous. He moves toward the entrance of one of his ant-chambers. At the entrance a dark figure awaits him.
-Nice to see you again, Lord Vader!
-I am here, my Master – Darth replies
-Did you took care of everything?
-Yes, Master. The luggage is loaded in to the Tie-Fighter, and we can leave whenever you are ready.
-Excellent. I look forward in completing your training in the realm of the Dark Side.
-May I inquire on our destination?
-Patience Lord Vader. We will soon be at desired coordinates. Our destiny is a pitful planet, in a minor galaxy, in the solar system.
-Earth?
-Yes, Lord Vader. We are going to Earth, where you can experience the full grandeur of the dark side of the force. The humans have a far better understanding of anger and hatred, than anyone else on this system.
-As you wish, my Master!
-I am sure, you will make, a fine apprentice, Lord Vader. Let us proceed to our destination.

Upon arrival to Earth, Lord Vader hides the ship from any means of detection available on Earth. The Halloween season, provides an excellent excuse for the appearance of these two strange looking figures.
-Provide us transportation, to the nearest airport – Lord Sidous asks.
-Yes, my lord!
Seeing a taxi approaching. Lord Vader hales the vehicle to halt, and opens the door to Lord Sidous.
-Take us to the airport – Darth Vader commands.
-Sure thing – the cab driver replies, adding – Where are you two dressed like that? A Halloween party? Isn’t it a bit early to be dressed up for parties?
-You will take us to the airport! – Darth persuades the driver mentally.
-I will take you to the airport! – the driver automatically reply
-You will ask no more foolish questions – Darth insists
-I will ask no more foolish questions – the driver repeats the command

And the car starts his motion to the airport.

-Good, Lord Vader! Your powers of persuasion are complete. We should have great use of that feature among this people.
-The mind of the Earthlings, poses no objection.
On the road, an accident blocks the passage of the taxi. Irritated, Lord Sidous demands explanations.
-We have stopped, Lord Vader! See to it that we are not stranded here. Our presence in the airport is of paramount importance.
-Your will my Lord… shall be respected. CAB DRIVER WAIT FOR ME, LEAVE THE MOTOR RUNNING, AND INSURE THE PROPER TEMPERATURE INSIDE THE VEHICLE.
Darth Vader leaves the cab to go the accident area. A car has crashed into a fuel truck, sustaining minor damage. Despite its fault, for driving intoxicated, the car driver argues with the truck driver for a sort compensation.
-You stupid fuck, look at what you did to my Golf! You must pay for this, you shit head you.
-Pay! You must be insane, you run over to the lane… get back to your car, and let the traffic flow.
Breathing heavily and impatiently, Darth Vader approaches the accident scene, coming from the long line of cars that are unable to move. After listening to a few more complaining of the car driver, Vader decides to levitate the man and ask him of justice.
-What have you done to the passage of this road? – approaching the man further to his body, Vader insists- why are we waiting for you? When you will get back to your vehicle and provides us with the passage we need?
Running out of patience, Vader sends the intoxicated driver through the air in direction of the car. The impact of the now unconscious man is enough to move the vehicle enough to grant the traffic to flow normally. The panic takes an hold of some people, that call for the authorities.
Back in the car, Darth Vader informs, Lord Sidious of the situation.
-You did well, my young apprentice, but we should not let our presence be known, we most restrain from use conspicuous powers in this area. Let us proceed to the airport, where your training will begin.
-As you wish my lord!
The taxi drives on towards the airport. Upon arrival, Darth Vader enforces a memory upon the driver
-YOU WILL FORGET OF ANY EVENTS THAT TOOK PLACE IN OUR PRESENCE. YOU WILL NOW DRIVE 1000 KMS TO THE NORTH AT A CONSTANT SPEED OF 65 KM PER HOUR.
Leaving the taxi behind, Darth Vader approaches his Master, who asks of him:
-Lord Vader, we need a lorry for our luggage. Provide one. Kickly.
-Yes my lord. – Proceeding to the area of parked lorries, Darth Vader gets to the last one. As he approaches the lorry, a man runs, and takes the lorry with him, saying:
-Hey! Tough luck, pal! Seems I got here first. You can get more lorries on the other side of the airport.
Making sure that none was watching, Darth Vader pulls out of his light sabre, and performers 3 swift movements into the man. As he grabs the lorry the man parts fall into to ground. Darth Vader disposes of the body parts in a near by recycle dumpster – on the organic session – then proceeding to the airport’s main entrance, where Lord Sidious waited him.
-Ah! Good! Your back! I see you had another victim to the death toll. You should restrain yourself.
-I will do my best, my Master!
-Let’s go now to the Flight departures desk
Proceeding to the West Jet desk, Lord Sidious notes that there is a flight to Montreal.
-Excellent! Everything is happening as I have forseen….
-NEXT! – the woman behind the desk screams, behind her busy desk
-Now let me do all the talking, before you decide to kill more people in the open. We have to be careful.
-NEXT – the woman repeats her cry.
-Hello! I would like 2 first class passages to Montreal on the 6 o’clock flight, please!
-I am sorry, I only have economic class!
-Oh dear… that is an inconvenience, but I guess it will have to do.
-Do you have any preference for the seats?
-Yes, I would like a window seat for me, and my friend would like to seat close to me.
-I am sorry, but you will have to be seated separated, although close to each other, but with a person in between you.
-Isn’t there any way of mending this situation.
-I am afraid not. Do you have any luggage?
-Yes. I do
-Did you packed everything yourself!?
-No, my servants did that for me.
-Please proceed to the guard over there, to make a quick inspection of your suit case.
-But…
-Now!
Unwillingly, both Darth Vader and Lord Sidious go towards the guard, for what it should be a quick inspection of the suitcase.
-Do you have any explosives or corrosive materials in your luggage, sir?
-Well, I cannot really say? – Sidious hesitates
-Why not?
-Because, I am going to Montreal, to build a grand army that will help us defeat the separatist movement!
-I understand you too well sir, those guys of the Bloc Quebecois, make me nauseas. You are free to go…
-But…
-That’s quite alright. I understand you too well…
Confused and dazzled with a revelation of a Bloc, Lord Sidious sees himself back to the desk of West Jet.
-Ok! Sir, now that you are all checked out. The last step is to pay!
-Pay!?
-Yes! The total will be 2053 dollares and 24 cents.
Tired of the airport protocol of checking in!
-YOU WILL LET US GO!
-I will let you go.
-YOU WILL FORGET ABOUT US
-I will forget about you
-WE CAN GO NOW
-You can go. Proceed to Gate 21
After passing Ticket Control, Lord Sidious and Darth Vader are detained in the metal detector area, because of Darth Vader’s light saber.
-Sir, please step into that area. Empty your pockets
Darth Vader complied.
-What is this metal item?
-It is my…
-It is an ordinary flash-light, reinforced in titanium to withstand the cold temperatures. You see, we are explorers of the Antarctic caves!!! AND YOU WILL LET US PASS!
-I will let you pass! They are cleared to go. Have a nice flight sir!
-Thank you.
After leaving the metal detector area, Lord Sidious says:
-Why did you brought your weapon? Their weaponry is meaningless to us. Your sabre could have costed us dearly. We are drawing to much suspicions to us. We can control each of these individuals one at a time, but we cannot control them all… plus it would affect the outcome of our mission… Lets go to our gate.
-As you wish, my Master.

To be continued!

cocasman@zmail.pt