.
Leaving the metal detector area behind, Lord Sidious and Darth Vader proceed to the gate of their flight to Montreal. While, they wait for the call to embark, Darth Vader proceeds to the bathroom.
-Master!
-What is it, Lord Vader?
-I ask to be excused for more pressing matters.
-How so?
-I feel an increase of the force’s influence in the dark side of my bladder.
-Too much information, for my concern. You are excused. However, try not to be too dilatory in your incursion to the mans room on this terminal.
-Yes, my Master!
In the bathroom, Darth Vader, relieves himself from all the needs that his bladder called for, using the mechanical deject extractor (Bladder 9000).
- Bladder evacuation complete. No anomalies found during the procedure.- so said the internal diagnostic unit, which surveys the remaining biological units that are functional in Darth Vader.
To keep appearances, Lord Vader, proceeds to the lavatory to mimic the earthlings custom of washing hands upon finishing their duties in the toilet. After washing his gloves, Darth Vader, looks intrigued to the towel system that is next to the lavatory.
A man who was washing his hands also, notices the confusion behaviour in Darth Vader, while facing the towel system. Trying to help him out, the man says.
-Do you have one of those diseases in your skin man?
-I have no disease. I just want to use the mechanism to try these gloves.
-Oh! I totally understand, you . I can help you out. You must be a latex lover, right? I know all about that you see, my wife was a cousin that he has this obsession in latex, and his always wearing those latex around the house. In your case it must be an Halloween custom right!
-HOW DO YOU MAKE IT WORK?
-Oh! Pull the towel to you!
Darth Vader tries to pull, but he proceeds with care, not to cause too much suspicion and noise. The towel does not move. After a few unsuccessful attempts, the man then adds:
-Not like that! You have to pull it with force. Use the force, man!
Upon hearing these words, Darth Vader immediately turns to the man and grabs him on the neck using just one hand (with a wet glove) to raises him from the floor, asking:
-What are your intentions in this planet? How many Jedi Knights followed us into this system? How did you tracked us down?
The man gasps almost out of breath, while the dark figure in front of him impatiently man:
-Your silence, will not save you, puny warrior.
-I am no puny warrior, I meant force for the towel
-Do not try to deceive me, I am sure that Obi-wan put you up to this. To make a mockery out of me. He can not stand the fact that I am the Master now and he is a weak tutor.
P.A. system starts.
-To all passengers heading to Montreal, the gate of departure has changed, the new departure gate is in gate 9. The boarding for this flight will suffer a small delay. We …
Realising these words, Darth Vader, quickly puts the man down, saying to him:
-You are in luck Jedi, I have a flight to take. Do not attempt to follow us, or you will face your doom!
Rushing back to the previous flight gate where he had been with Lord Sidious, Darth Vader looks for his master, who is looking at the airport plant located at one corner.
-Lord Vader!
-I am here Master!
-Your little expedition to the men’s bathroom took exactly 9 minutes and 4 seconds.
-Yes, Master!
-I am not please. See to it, that you improve your evacuation system. We are traveling on a tight schedule.
-Forgive me, Master.
-Let us proceed to gate 9.
Both of them start a long march through the hallways of the airport, trying to reach their gate still on time. The PA system starts again
-We inform the passengers that the flight to Montreal is now boarding in gate 9. In apologize for any inconvenience.
-Lord Vader, we must hurry!
-Yes Master!
-I will climb on to your back, so that we can move quicker. Use your powers to clear the path, and make us lighter.
-As you wish, Master!
As spoken, Lord Sidious climbed to the shoulders of Darth Vader. Like he was command to do, he used his powers to move people from the way, and even float in some passages. They hovered over a group of 50 nuns who were in line to board a flight bond to Kathmandu. Vader made a whole line of passengers slide to the left, leaving them safe passage. Lord Sidious, from high on top Lord Vader’s back screamed to the crowd:
-Get out of the way, pitiful fools.
They still managed to throw down some more people, when at last they reached, their flight gate. Immediately, Lord Sidious hopped of Darth Vader s back and proceeded towards the lady managing the passengers entrance.
-Hello sir! Good afternoon!
-Oh! Good afternoon! Did you hear that Lord Vader!? The young lady speaks of a good afternoon!
-I am sorry sir! I did not mean to offend!
-THIS AFTERNOON IS NOT HAPPENING AS I HAD FORSEEN. – Lord Sidious shouted with such a loud tone, that people heard his voice on the far end of the hallway. The voice was so powerful that the echo came back as “seen, een, een…”
Finally, both boarded their flight and proceeded to their seats. As they expected, they were separated by one passenger. Lord Sidious, tried to use a diplomatic way to approach the problem.
-Kind sir! My friend and me would like to travel together, since we have pressing matters to discuss, during this flight. Would it be possible, if you move over to one of the sides!?
-Listen Bozo. I bought this ticket, and I ain’t moving, got that. Now, just sit down and enjoy the rest of the flight in the places that have been assign to you.
-Dear sir, I see you have no wish in cooperating with us. I must insist that you relinquish the seat in our behalf.
-I told you old man! You and your black doll there will just have to sit on your assigned places.
Darth Vader immediately, pulls out his light sabre, cuts the obnoxious man into 5 parts, proceeds to the toilet room, and comes back in 5 seconds.
The rest of the passengers observe in shock to all of this. As the first female passenger prepares to scream, lord Sidious focus his energy into a collective trance, saying in a monochord voice:
-HUMANS OF THIS FLIGHT, YOU DID NOT WITNESSED ANY OF THESE EVENTS THAT LEAD TO THE DISPOSAL OF OUR FELLOW PASSENGER.
-WE DID NOT WATCH ANY OF THESE EVENTS THAT LED TO THE DISPOSAL OF OUR FELLOW PASSENGER – the passengers said in a unisons voice.
-YOU WILL GO BACK TO YOUR OWN LIVES
-WE WILL GO BACK TO OUR OWN LIVES
-CORUSCANT RULES
-CORUSCANT RULES – the passengers repeated
-Coruscant rules, Master?
-Yes, Lord Vader! It will not be long that the power of the mighty empire will be felt here, in this pathetic planet as well. I better start my mission sooner than late. Don’t you agree, Lord Vader?
-Yes, Master.
-Excellent! Fetch me a stewardess, my thirst grows with all these efforts.
Darth Vader and Lord Sidious sit, not before pressing the button that calls for the stewardess. After a short while, someone comes to help them.
-Can I help you, sir?
-Yes, you can. Please bring me a glass of fresh water.
The stewardess brings a glass and prepares to pour the water, when Lord Sidious says:
-My poor child! Can’t you see that this glass is not in a proper condition. Bring me another
The stewardess unwillingly goes to get a new glass, repeating the intension of pouring, when once again:
-I am sorry, this glass is perfectly unacceptable either. Please take me to see the cabinet where you have the glasses.
-I am sorry sir, I am not allowed!
-YOU WILL TAKE ME TO SEE THE GLASSES.
-I WILL TAKE YOU TO SEE THE GLASSES.
Lord Sidious examined the glasses attentively and realized that they are all unacceptable for him, and he said to the stewardess in trance.
-WIPE THESE GLASSES. ALL OF THEM.
He waited for her to clean a shelf of glasses and said:
-Ah! That one is much better! Continue, my child!
Lord Sidious brought to his seat the cleaned glass and pour the water from the bottle that the stewardess had left behind.
-This is much better!
PA system
-Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, we should be taking off soon. Please keep tie your seat-belts and retrieve from smoking. After take off we will start our entertainment feature STAR WARS. In my behalf and on behalf of the crew, you hope that you have an enjoyable flight.
-Ah yes! I now foresee a most interesting flight! Don’t you agree Lord Vader?
Darth Vader did not replied.
-Lord Vader?
-I am sorry my Master. I had to take a pill of Dramamine.
-Really?
-Yes, Master! I get nauseas in these jet airplanes.
-Yes! It will be an interesting flight indeed!
To be continued.
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