These times

Introduction - ode to pretentious writing

At times, I wonder why do I write?
Is it to satisfy a plain vanity in me and call for some sort of attention? Perhaps I do it to share a bit of what goes on the maze-brain of Mr. Sousa with all those who care about it.
This time, I write just because the air is good enough to. If you prefer, you can assume I just want to be a bit pretentious, and if this offends you, you might skip these lines.

This morning, I woke up with a calling. Apparently a group of twenty something letters from the alphabet, asked for my undivided attention into the creative process of a blog entry. And so, I play my part...

Act I - What have I been up to?

For the past few months, I have been a helping hand in the wondrous world of wild and strange productions of a certain megalomaniac director/producer/writer/actor/cook/painter and heaven knows what else... even though, I doubt that he would share this information with any sort of divinity that might be lying around with a curiosity twitch.
The experience itself, has been quite hectic and at times, also rewarding as life it self ... Through all this time I had the chance to meet over 100 people from different backgrounds. All of us, worked as a team, trying to find a way of making the visions, that are constantly being created by the imperious leader, become real.
From mindless drone, to hectic screamer and collaborator, I have been given the chance to dream for a while. This is to say, I disconnected myself from the ordinary world and was hoisted to a roller coaster in film making.

Act II - What have I learned?

Although I always gather a strange feeling of nothingness in my life, I have to yield to the fact, that the strange events that I have been exposed for all this time, allowed me to see the world with an improved set of eyes, those of a dreamer. I have discovered that with will, determination and stamina, you can make your dreams come to be.
Alas, this can only come from within, and it is constantly renewed by the desire of improving the quality of the work I want to finish.
In technical terms, I have created a new mind dictionary to express myself about different processes of film making, which are too numerous to account here.
The most meaningful fact I choose to keep as a souvenir, is that we are all but humans, striving to do our best, while holding an invisible shell of pride around us trying to convince others of our greatness, when in fact we are constantly reminding ourselves that we are capable of anything.
This is universally true to anyone within the hierarchy of life, from the third assistant to the Director himself.
We all need to create a sort of illusion that we are in control of everything, at a specific moment in time.

Act III - What does the future hold?

Time to think. Time to envision next projects. Time to build a new shell of belief, that will ultimately assist me in taking any dreams from my brain to a wide screen or a small stage in my room. Whatever will be will be and nothing can be taken for granted! Not as long as the wind blows and changes the fates of great and small.

I will rest for now, knowing that most of you grow weary of my writings and might be pressed to read another email, go to a bathroom, call a friend, argue with a colleague, scream at someone passing by, enjoy a sunset, make love with a beautiful partner… or just be wondering at the enormous potential that the next 5 minutes might bring, if only we learn how to listen what we really want to say.


Epilogue
This second is over, what will you do with the next one?


cocasman@zmail.pt