Reality of a post-apocalyptic event

I believe, much like Mr. Orzabal and Mr. Smith, that when the hurting and the pain has gone, I will be strong.

I guess, I made the imprudence of believing too much in what my wishes were telling me, that I never took the time to have a reality check.
It would not be a problem if I was still living in dream land.
The bad thing about living the nexus is following back to cold truth...

I expect nothing more from the dream.
Now I am on damage control.

The odd thing is that apparently everything is fine.
Everyone is where they are suppose to be.

But the feelings are all wrong.
There is no really flavour any more.

I feel like someone took my senses.
The world is colourless, tasteless, scentless, without any interesting mellodies and only bland touches.

My memories keep attacking my conscience.
I am going back in time frequentely, pushed by the stimuli of now.

The future seems promising if I can accept my present.

I am still rebuilding kheops.
Fortunately my team is still available to help me restore the key sectors that comprise the soul and body of my ship.
I need find a map again, otherwise I will stay stranded in the grey wasteland.

She is gone.
An echo in the eternity, that only a couple of months ago was so present.
A true gift to my life, that is totally lost...
when in fact it was never mine to begin.

When i  learned that nothing belongs to me, i can accept that life is what it is, and just accept the experience for the experience, without any expectation or remorse for the circumstances.

Now I just want the pain to be over.
One day... the reality of this world, will be bright