Friday, May 26, 2017

Does money buy love?

The other day I was driving home late at night and I decided to fill the silence within the car with whatever sounds the regular programing of the national broadcast radio was offering to its listeners. To my surprise an interview to a famous portuguese comedian was on and I was drawned to his specific answers that stayed in my mind and led me to put these words here.
Still, its not without surprise for me that this comedian showed such an intense view on subjects like suicide, happiness, depression, love, wealth.
At one point the interviewer mentioned a quote by somebody the comedian knew that read more or less something like this:

"Money can buy true love"

The comedian agreed and offered some stories to reveal how money can sustain the endearing part of a growing relationship and by opposition, how the lack of it can blur, with the greyish and sour nature of a succesion of poor days, the purest of love, by occuping the clarity feeling with the dirtyness of perception.
He implied this by sharing a story of two couples he knew on opposite situations, one that was the typical woman that loved the comfort that the money of her lover could buy and eventually realized that the money was only a means and that the man was such muc more, and a poor couple that had two glorious weeks in wealth and that when they returned to their meager condition they could not linger in the passion of that fabulous fortnight.

I could not help but reliving some of my own experiences on this field, and oddly enough I found that I agreed with the proposition. For sure, money does not buy happiness or love, but it is a powerful catalyst in sustaining the nature that leads to it.
Which leaves me with the question. If money does play a role in buying love, does it come a time where the love is pure and true to withstand the lack of it?
Think about this for a moment.
Imagine that you had lived for two weeks in a glorious richful setting that helped you live a fantasy that for all ends and purposes can be mistaken by true love; and when your days in "paradise" are over and you and your love interest return to the bland reality of everyday life and then find out that what was fueling the love was not the relation but the setting - would that relationship last if the setting lasted?

Some friends have frequently suggested  that some relationships fail because what drives love is not the true nature of the person but the idea we make of the individual helped by the circumstances that are being lived while making the acquaintance that lead to intense passionate affair - but is it love?

The proposition of the comedian was that if you live in the beautiful setting for a prolonged period of time you eventually pass the point of no return and you become head over heels.
However it was no clear in his interview that if a change of scenario took place would the loving couple change its view?
In some cases, crises provoked by outside parties can affect the stability of the relationship. Is it fair to blame the rupture on these sources of disruption? Or is it more honest to see the feeble nature of the couple, that at first sight of trouble, found that the exit was the solution?
Is true love something easy that flows or is it something hard, that constantly resists the harshness of time?

Being a professional single for the past 40 years, with some ponctual moments of affection in my relations, I do wonder about the merits behind successful relationships. My parents for instance. They started their relationship in a harsh scenario. My mom was a modest young woman that was raised on a rural village in struggling conditions that work hard to find a break in the big city; while my father had already 4 children from a previous marriage that ended badly, mainly because of the emotional instability he had due to the unpleasant effects of an overseas war with the colonies.
But still, they had me out of wedlock, they managed through odd times find the delicate balance that allowed them to be together for almost four decades. The eventually got married after 12 years of relationship, and my mom took care of my father until he died at age of 84.

The comedian also said in his interview that life is more like a wagnerian opera that mainly feels like a long dull four hours with ponctual moments of sublime beauty and awe.
My parents life had this simultide as so many other lives in the modern times.
But still the money or the lack of it does play a part in the way we perceive the way we want to feel the tune of our lives.

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