Sad sad sad

 This quaint construct of the mind is all but friendly.

These are the facts, I am losing my mind. I am 44 and I am full of emotional holes that I expect others can fill them. So this is the lesson, no one should be expect to carry any part of me to fill any part of my soul that is somehow lost. The reason is simple, I have these parts of me. I just misplaced them. And hence, I am sad.

It is very unfair, not to me, but to the world, to be expect to solve any problems that, myself, in my quest for a purpose of life, created. These are just tears of frustration. Frustration of not knowing where I am heading. Vaya con dios at one point sang "we're heading for a fall". 

But this Fall, what I feel is that I have been falling from my steadfast resolve to be a better man.

This is sad. 

Where did I lose myself? What wrong turn did I take to stray my soul so much.

And lonely I feel. Not because I do not have family, which I do. friends, which I do, love, which they share. I feel lonely because these pieces of me, that are so dear to my own meaning, are lost. 

"and... like an insubstantial life faded" I have forgotten what they are...

Its like having a map that I do not understand.

This is a language of life I do not comprehend.

So the saddest part of all, is that I am trapped within.