The prodigal editor returns

44 years and counting...

Life has been giving me quite a few surprises since my fingers last typed any words into this digital box of recollections. The one constant seems to be that both humanity and love will never cease to amaze me, with the ongoing mood swings that pertain to what every single soul wants, including my very own. 

 

As a matter of reckoning, I wonder often about my unique aspirations as life progresses slowly but surely to an inevitable demise. Still, the walks of life that I chose brought me friends, experiences and worlds to explore. And there are so much more yet to find out. Half-life allows me to find more things about myself, to be better prepared for what lies ahead. Even though I have no idea of what lurks on my destiny's domain, I have gather some knowledge to face with more conscience the challenges that will undoubtedly  present themselves. 

(...) just because I do not know exactly what I want to write about...

A shift...

 

Professionally,  I make money combining words, images, sounds and musics to help others tell stories of current affairs. This is a blessing, because I like to be helpful, also I like to be creative. Combining both in a single job, make my days more rewarding, and it is not just because of the check in the end of the month, but rather by finishing each project with the satisfaction and a profound feeling of a job well done.

 

Suddenly, I find myself wondering if I will eventually find a new craft to excel even further and to deepen my connection to the universe and my own core. 

Well, I am back. 

Hopefully, I can face myself through the writings on this wall of bits and bytes.

 

My god, it has been 2 years almost. A pandemic has changed plenty what was to what has to be. 

 

Corona has a new meaning today, when paired with a woeful virus.

Achieving enlightenment

Spoiler alert - I have yet to achieve enlightenment

According to "The Dude and The Zen Master" book I may be attaching too much on aspects of life that need no extra concerning on my part, than that I would give if I was dead.

The burden of caring too much is, I think, what keeps me away from the knowledge of inner peace.
If I worry too much about what others will think of me, I will never find that which I seek. Also seeking it too much will prevent me from just letting it manifest it self when it will. Which can be happening right now. Much like the society of cells the inhabits my body, beneath my skin, there is a myriad of events that I am completely oblivious too until the consequences reveal an effect that is impossible to ignore. But if I pay attention, it will be there manifesting itself right now.
Its like a soft sound that is masked by louder noises.

Do not think too much about what should be, instead accept what it is, do what flows in you to do, do not take for granted anything and do not let the opportunity of being pass you by.

I guess I need to right a few words  now.
Even if they make little sense.
They will translate something important to someone.

Summer's end

The heat was strange this year, even the water was cooler than usual for Summer.
One thing I feel, the planet has been under heavy attack from catastrophic phenomena, fires, hurricanes, tornados, storms, earthquakes.
There is a feeling of purge going on.
Oddly, as 2019's summer is coming to an end, Humanity's summer reign seems to be stepping closer to a bleak winter, without giving us the mild cool of a fall. Still we are heading for a fall.
I wonder if we will come to pass, to a point where any sentient being will ever miss us.
I guess he or she will be too busy picking up the pieces to feel any resentment for our deserved demise.

Cheers to our passing by.

A palindrome of light and darkness

Every now and again, I come here and I spill some words into this canvas. Most of the times I am melancholic and eager to share with the universe what is going on with my life.

About a week ago, I was struck by a bolt of light in a human form. The chemistry took a few hours to kick in but when it did, I became smitten for this palindrome.

For the love of a palindrome!

All the best moments are here

I am trapped in the emotional response that surfaces upon listening to the musical chords of the "All the best memories are hers" theme.
I am immediately taken by the memory of feeling nostalgia. Not for anything in specific but just for the essence of what it feels like to be nostalgic... That Portuguese word Saudade that seems to cause ripples beyond borders and let the gaze of the soul of the wanderers that come here to appreciate the essence of what is Portugal.

What is Portugal?
A name?
A 975 years old idea?
A small rectangle on the western shores of Europe?
What do we recall of our heritage?
How proud are we of what we have achieved as a people, a nation?
How greatful are we to all those other people who were of paramount importance to let us get so far?

What are indeed the merits of a collective memory? The idea of a shy but intrepid people that is willing to take the elements and taim them into a new way for the world...

My best memory
Is still unwritten.
A memory where a lot more value will be cherished by what means to be human than for what it stands to accomplish wealth.
What memory is this anyway...

To help beyond belief

These current times are by far some of the most difficult moments of my life personally and I feel that he world around me is crumbling into pieces.

I have a friend who has a knack for getting into problems. This time around she found a way to put some Brazilians at her parents apartment with the intent of renting it to them but without doing any contract beforehand.
She needs to do this of course because she's into some dire financial situation of her own.
Now our hopes lie in the words of the Brazilians hoping that they will sign a contract and they will respect it until the end of the year. This helping to balance the cash flow problem that she has.

On another side, my mom is helping out her brother. he's very sick and he is not worthy of the care she's putting into helping him.
I find it sad that she is feeling so flustered so frustrated and so saddened by the way he dismisses this care by his own selfish actions like spending all this money and also by letting himself reach a point of no return, where all he has left is the care she can give him.
She is tired.
She is losing her own time.
How long must this go on?

I am helping both, but it's consuming me.
I am tired of this.

Grrr

Support

Maybe I am alive these days.
After all I feel quite calm, despite the agitated Waters of the past few days.
My feline friend has been keeping me from harm's way.

Now therefore I wonder what will happen if the world gives me a chance to be happy once again.  And still I have no idea what dreams will come.

A few weeks have passed since the upstairs sentences were written. The set is another waiting room. Larger and filled with people waiting to get pricked for blood before proceeding to any doctor's appointment and get some information about what health will come.
They all eagerly stare at the monitor that beeps the order of call, which will define to each a station where a nurse will seringe them all for analysis.
There are tenths of people in the room.
Outside the day is grey, but outside is just a sliding door away. As each person enters this passage reveals the dawn of day and the developing rain that comes with it.
As I see the world after 41 years, everything else loses meaning when anyone had his health  having a dire day.

The ambient in the hospital waiting room is for the most part quiet and yet filled with tension of the unknown. I wonder if people think what will come of them? How long do they have? The despair of the unwelcomed pain with the uncertainty of the Future leaves very little room to politeness and good behavior.
People just want their problem fix and no residue of pain, which here works as a signal to warn that something is not right in their bodies.
They all need some kind of support.