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dedicated to Hernani Leonardo Silvestre - the best side kick against bureaucracy
Prelude for a journey
Life can set us up with moments that can seem truly dammed, yet if one is smart enough they can be transformed in something truly blessed.
I believe some clarification is in order.
I am currently with my sister as her assistant in managing a restaurant.
For all those of you, who dream eagerly for a business of your own, I must say these wise words:
"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!" - I got a little help from Ren and Stimpy with this last sentence.
The amount of detail a business cares for is enough to make you become a drone in a society that produces systematic chain of events always happening with the same purpose, with a mere changing of cast.
Working as a waiter can be truly fun, because you get to know a whole universe of egos that can only compete with the Naughty session of the Yellow Pages. This knowledge can be used to write a Ph. D. in Phsycology about behaviour in our society.
Working as an assistant manager can be consuming, as you have to start talking to numbers as if you were one of them, and have to care for your fellow colleagues as if they were little babies always needing for care and sympathy. In a nutshell, to be quite good you have to know how to balance between altruism and selfishness without entering too deep in neither of them. This knowledge can help you in becoming insane.
Bureaucracy is an amazing thing and it tends to world domination as the years fly by.
Alas, for this restaurant to succeed in the world empire of food, we must also become friends with the mighty RED TAPE DICTATORSHIP.
This last week, we were informed of the need to inform IDICT about all the contracts we have with foreigner people. IDICT is the Portuguese entity that oversees all the details concerning job conditions and legislation. For simplicity sake I prefer to refer this little universe of horrors as IDICT.
Chapter 1 - THE IDICT
The first step I had to do was to get instructions in how to act. Calling IDICT proved a wise choice as it revealed some information concerning the documents I had to present, but somehow I was only informed for 2 urgent cases.
My first trip to this fine Factory of RED TAPE showed me the reality that was presented before my eyes was in fact concealing me the truth. I consider my self a truthful representation of the naïve class.
Optimistically, I got there on a beautiful afternoon, and got the answer that I could only clear my case if I had a ticket. 60 tickets are distributed once everyday at 9.00 am.
Never abandoned by my optimism, I went there a second time, and I thought I should be a bit more cautious so I decide to arrive at 8.00 am; just to make sure I would get a ticket.
The line of people, who froze while waiting, for what was to be our common fate (THE QUEST OF THE TICKET), stretched all the way as to bend the block and went down that street quite bit!
Everyday 60 tickets are given, that day I got none!
From time to time the Gods of the Universe place us in situations that we have to win at all cost. This opens those kinds of questions where, regardless of the odds, the answer must be in the vicinity of Yes or Yes.
This brings me to that first aspect I was talking about:
Life can set us up with moments that can seem truly dammed, yet if one is smart enough they can be transformed in something truly blessed.
Apparently I was dammed to wait in line for what look like an eternity. How do I turn this in my advantage?
Fortunately, I am blessed for having the finest group of friends in the Universe, who care for me; they are in all the corners of the world.
Hernani Leonardo Silvestre, a true friend and a caring soul, accepted to become my side kick for a little adventure I was about to have, as he was kind enough to accompany me through a all-nighter.
Chapter 2 - All the animals come out at Night
The plan was simple.
After I would leave work, Hernani would pick me up and we would burn a few hours until 6.00 am, when we would go to IDICT's door where we would patiently await for the 9.00 am, the feeding of tickets hour.
1.00 a.m.
Hernani picks me up at the restaurant, and we decide to go somewhere and grab a byte to eat.
2.00 a.m.
By that time we were driving through the streets of Lisbon, in the coldest autumn's night of 2003, more reminiscent of a cold winter's night of 2002.
The secret for holding on for so many hours without losing the battle with sleep, is to get distracted. Anything goes!
As we drove around, we started rumbling on about superficial aspects of the world.
Between many one was elected as the top discussion event of the 2 of December night.
I remember arguing about the criterion used to decide the winners of the employee of the month award.
"Probably, they decide it with a tossing of coin" - that was my initial hypothesis.
"That seems unlikely, how would they do if they would have more than 2 workers"
"I got it! They count all the workers, and divide them into 2 groups, and then toss the coin"
"And then what?"
"Then which ever group wins, they divide the number of people from that group into 2 groups, and repeat the procedure again, until they end up with a final winner, that will be the employee of the month!" - this was my brilliant thesis, I remember think my parents would probably be so proud in the money they invested in my Biotechnology course, while they slept!
As we kept talking, we came to a red light, and we look at a convenience store, that stood near by.
The funny thing about convenience stores in Lisbon is that they are only convenient until 2.00 am, after that they become inconvenient according to someone who lives during the day, bright notion. I would say the kind of notion that strikes us down, sometime around noon. Oh well!
Inside the store we notice an employee, cleaning up.
"Do you think that poor fellow there, became an employee of the month?" - Hernani asked.
"Maybe"
As we look carefully, we notice a second man, standing right outside the door of the closed store.
"Is he pissing?" - Hernani asked.
"I guess so" - I replied without believing my own sight.
There we both stood, waiting for our light to gives freedom from that sight, as we watched, the workingman and the pissing man!
Thanks to that we had subject for a substantial part of our long night.
We argued about the possibility of he being a pissed of client that took his role a little bit to literally, or perhaps a former employee of the month that was passing water to his ex-colleague.
I wonder still, would the piss get inside the store! Would that be enough to piss the current holder of the best employee of the month award, hence producing two living fountains that were peeing at each other?
Chapter 3 - IDICT RELOADED
By 5.30 we decide to proceed for our waiting place, a nice cold outside of a building, where we would be the first people to gaze at the door.
I thought we were going to beat the world record of showing up at an early hour to get inside the Red Tape Store!
The world however spits on my face once again, and calls me sucker.
I got there and a line of 12 people had already formed and waited to see the first bus start it's circulating round; the sun waking up; the first clerks arrival at work with their tidal smell waves of perfume; and finally the big stare, with a face that had been in the cool freezing breeze of December for the past 3 or 4 hours, as the nice security officer would hand out the long waited prize.
For 3 hours we dreamt about heating units, hot meals, while arguing about the unfair state of the roads in Lisbon and the odd situation of the tollbooths from suburb to suburb.
In fact that experience, was quite amusing thanks to Hernani, as we conceived this race of people who knit eagerly at work, just before 9.00 am dictates the start of a new processing day.
This lead me o believe that I was in some sort of race; Unfortunately, the Brazilian, the Chinese, the Ukrainian, the Moldavian, and a whole bunch more whose countries I can't quite place, overtook us. I must confess that Guinea Bissau got first place. This is even more extraordinary if when I realized that the winning lady was carrying a 6 months old baby! Amazing Reality!
As promised the prize ceremony for phase one came to be at 9.00 am. Being placed in 12th meant that I only had to wait one hour more inside the gymno-bureaucratic complex for phase two.
The building was field with all sorts of things, where schizophrenic rooms with few chairs, too few to mention, helped us consumed the final waiting hour.
In the core of the Red Tape Competition, you only get one chance at phase two, either you have your forms CB123, DL15323, WEG2131, AR8654F and not forgetting the JFGREW434521, completed with several copies and all signed accordingly, or you are disqualified for that day, and must restart from phase one all over again.
Life was not unfair to me, I was so lucky, my Yes or Yes emergency was solved. However, due to the wonderful success of this feature of adventures, the nice clerk that attended me, said:
"You still have to do this one more time, as you still need to bring the documents for all the other foreigner employees that are currently working in your restaurant"
TO BE CONTINUED IN IDICT REVOLUTIONS
A small conclusion about my case and reality
Life is extraordinary with all the myriad of causalities that presents us in our simple journey.
If I didn't experienced all of this; the pissing man vs. the employee of the month battle; the fun world of red tape and all its ludicrous aspects; I would not be telling you this now.
I am trying to describe all this in good humour, because it's not my ass on the line, even if I did what I did, because I wanted to prevent someone else to be in trouble.
After all, any immigration process demands an overload of bureaucracy from time to time.
Societies copy cat each other in their methods.
People must eat, but before they must get money to buy food.
Typically, money is not handed out, so societies developed this concept of work that ultimately will allow one to get food.
For anyone to work in a foreign country, it's mandatory to have a permit or a visa, or whatever kind of documents that allows grants the right to work abroad.
In Portugal, a working visa is only given after IDICT confirms that there are no problems for that person to work. A person must have be totally legal in bureaucratic terms; he or she must have all the social security paper work, the Number of the Finance ministry in order, a visa of residence, and so many others.
Supposing a person is already working and wants to renew the visa, to get the right to work for another year, it must be proven that there are reasons valid for granting such.
To prove that you are working, you must have a contract validated by IDICT, if not the visa maybe denied, and without it, you may be deported to your country of origin, where most of the times the realities are grim.
The line of people that repeats itself everyday, as clockwork, can only explain by this despair of cause.
What else will lead people, in a foreign country to wake up in the middle of a winter's night?
In my own case, I had to dwell with this in my Canadian past. Sometimes, it's hard to face the truth of the world, however, in a dream you will face the night's demons and angels and find the inspiration to carry on towards your goals.
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