To write or not write

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I begun writing a column back in 2003. Inspired by my fellow room-mate, who had a column of his own, the late Memory_hole (that I so dearly miss), I have pondered on my self-recreation to assemble a couple of sentences and try to put out my feelings for the situation at hand.
The reality was it, that I was somehow seeking for some attention, not that I've ever had issues with lack of it, but more as a sense of being accepted for what I could be.
To some, my style was tedious, to others enthusiastic.
I guess the lesson that you cannot please everybody applies to this specific nature as well.
It is never easy to write from the heart, when the mind is clogged with so many notions and misconceptions of a world in turmoil... my world. The havoc that I create around my thoughts prevents me from going further in life as a writer, as I ruin my hearts content with so much unnecessary reason.
The question now goes, to why do I keep on writing?
Is it more as a self-indulgence, to elude myself into a cultural grasp that quite simple is not my own to reach, or do I just embark into these ego-trips as a form of pulling myself upwards, since downwards brings nothing pleasant anymore.
In the end, I guess it does not really matter, since I will do it anyway. To you the reader, is left the choice to stop or go on... such is the world of the words, as one chooses when to finish the journey that the author has installed for you, or simply to step down at first convenient stop and choose a more appropriate path to move on.
I guess, I will keep on writing, more and more....albeit as public domain as it may be, but coming from a heart whose depths vary as the moods go by. So let it be written, so let it be felt...

mamuts@gmail.com