Porcelain

"In my dreams I am dying all the time" - Moby 

If I am feeling frail is because I allow it to be, perchance choose it at some unconscious level. They say I am very sensitive but alas this feature seems to bring a melancholy that is just good to appreciate the sadness of the poets, musicians, painters, hopeless dreamers like myself that like to to dwell in the holes in life rather than fill them with the simple thankful nature of being alive. 

This post is called porcelain, because like a piece of china I feel that the cracks in my life can no longer be hidden by the glue that binds me together. The metaphorical scars of my life are present in my flesh by actual scars of existence. It is like I was driven to episodes to draw these marks on my skin as a bitter reminder that my soul carries these life features well within. 

This might just be another creative spat with myself, or a sense of a life poorly lived. Whatever it is, it is good to flag it, so that when I am at my peak performance, because I do not delude myself, I have yet to reach my peak in terms of where my soul is headed, as I was writing when I do reach that top of the pops for my soul I will be able to be thankful for this check point. After all there is nothing wrong in accepting that sometimes life does not bring us what we expect from it, but rather gives us challenges to overcome and evolve. 

"Then I wake, it's kaleidoscopic mind

I never meant to hurt you

I never meant to lie

So this is goodbye?

This is goodbye" - Moby

Goodbye to this state of mind. 

"Prepare to say goodbye to all of this 

and hello to oblivion" - Riff Raff

"Hello, I must be going

I cannot stay, I came to say, "I must be going"

I'm glad I came but just the same I must be going, la-la!" - Groucho Marx