Just to say Hello

Today I went to the doctor.

No, I didn't put the lime in the coconut, but confirmed that my belly aches come from my worries.

I guess my good friend was right.

"What we feel is expressed by what we can't see".

Life is such a precious series of events. Why should I stay worried on a couple of them, which in turn will prevent me from enjoying all the others that are really good?

"I am neither benevolent nor malevolent"

I guess I am just myself, with all my flaws.

Pressed hard by the values of society, which in turn are so dear that they just prevent me from releasing a true nature.

"Would it be a monster?"

A good monster perhaps, able to cope with some mishaps.

Anyway... today is just to say hello.

Life deserves a bit more hellos and less mellows.

Unholy quest for a self-purpose

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Wednesday evening, after dinner and all the daily routines.

I wonder about how far have I come. While lying down in a comfortable sofa at this pleasant living-room, i realized that I have done quite a few things, and affected positively as well as negatively the lives of at least two hands full of people. I mean, it might have been more, but probably due to the comfort that I was in, I could only see as far as ten.

I guess comfort has played a great role in my life.

Much like most middle class people, I have got the security and stability my family struggle hard to maintain, as that powerful was passed on from generation to generation.

You must be better than me. I guess that is the creed that has been given.

So, in our daily lives, we the carriers of the genetic code, try to do a little better than the ones that preceded us. And while we do that, we encourage the next generation to the same.

DO Better.

What is better?

What purpose should be consider better?

...

Valentine

There is no better feeling in the world than love.
It is the binding force behind all human relations.
There are as many variations of the feeling itself as there are people on the planet.
Nonetheless, the fortunate ones that get to feel it often are the truly blessed creatures.
What is about this feeling that makes us do wild things?
The feeling possess us much like a slight intoxication lingering on and propelling for actions that are not present in reason but in true emotion.
Love is the most profound expression of humanity that one can expect.
If one is willing to love, must likely one is willing to be loved - and that is the best trade off.
To all the lovers out there, have a lovely valentine, with or without a special someone.
Because, everyone deserves to love and be loved.
And much like the bard, I love to be loved.

Love to you all.

mamuts@gmail.com

Friends are just like enemies that don't have the guts to kill you

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"Friends are just like enemies that don't have the guts to kill you"

Zolthar

Greetings my puny enemies. I would kill that lot of ya all, but then I would have no friends left.
Heavens knows we need friends.
This year, I learned from economy course and advertising course two things.
People tend to be happy with consumption. As we buy and acquire new things a certain amount of serotonin is released thus afecting our mood.
Still, people have been, consuming more and more as the years go by, and the change of mood is not proportional.
Meaning, we are not happier with the amount of things we buy.
Furthermore, our happiness seems to be related with the relations we develop throughout our lives. They make up for the satisfaction we have in our lives. The items of consumption, lately have been developed to make us further and further apart. We stopped interacting directly to interact more and more in a deferred fashion. The blogs, the social networks, the chat rooms, the e-mails, the text messages... more and more we are connected, but not directly, not throught the senses.
The further apart we are the less related we are - the less we look as friends and the more we look as something else.

We do not need the guts to kill each other to be enemies, but without relationships that are meaningful, we will be less and less caring for eachother and more and more focused on ourselves.

Oh well...
I will just warm the hyper tube and sing me a song....

Cheers


mamuts@gmail.com

Ah the pain!

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Perchance I had the words to describe the symphony of tears within me.
Of all the wrecked feelings that buzz every now and again from my heart, I am but gazing at an outside that should mean nothing more than the mere scenery that fills the canvas of my days. And yet, it is with anger and envy that my greedy soul realizes the emptiness of it all. As if for an instance I could have lived a better life, from the choices that I have been given. Only now do I realize that no choice was actually made, instead acceptance of a curious soul, taking step by step the mysteries that life provides.
How could I have fathom the destiny that was lurking in a dark alley on a stormy path...
I am nothing more but a fortune man without an ounce of sorrow to shed, and still I feel in me the emptiness of purpose yet again, as if the hive from where I have sprung brought me no more meaning than that of the wandering bee that just does what it's told.
So much life I see surrounding me, and I wonder still, could I have lived a better life to endure not once or twice the choices of the moment, but cherish the uniqueness of it all. Ah this pain of emptiness that visits me every now and then as a reminder, you could have done so much more, you could have seen so much more life than the shadows of the events that the outside produces through the windows of my soul.
I do not wish to make sense of this moment, all I want is to spill the guts of a lifeless feeling that haunted me just now... and hopefully will let me be... to resume an happiness that fits me as the favourite mask to you all. You that seem to know all, but dare not tap the depths of your own souls with the fear that you might not like to expose who you are, due to a typical human characteristic known as pride.

Ah the pain indeed to you all... may you realize that you are more human from it, from the love and any other emotions you may still recognize, rather than accepting that no small deed goes unrecognized... your emotions are the fabric of your humanity
be a person every now and again and avoid the vanity of your own pride...
for you maybe a better human, if only you can recall what is implied by the fact of saying I am alive and I intend to keep on living.

Of all the souls I have met in my travels...

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I could not have picked a finer time or space to have lived, if god would have given me the chance to choose from any age and place.

These can be the best of times or the worst of times, much like Mr. Dickens once wrote. Still, these are times I have, with the people that have taught me a bit about life. The good and the bad, I owe it to them. I am also responsible in some way to the good and the bad in their own lives...

Thank you, for being in the path of my ongoing journey to a fate that has not yet been written, but that for now is being fulfilled.

The Graveyard Shift

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Today is my first shift, since two years working at RTP, that I am doing the Graveyard Shift.
I am not sure if any zombies, ghosts, goblins or any other entities will find it in themselves to grace me / scare me with their presence, but i do feel that the this will be a very unique experience for me.

I need the this time.
I guess i need all the time. Without time, I do not exist, for there is no way for me to express my life, so every little second counts, just like breaths, I can't skip one out, whenever I skip it, that will be the last one I will skip. It won't matter if it's night or day.
So, during this shift, I will try to keep all my breaths going.

But... there is something about a midnight to 8 am shift that stimulates my inspiration to write. I don't know if I got this influence from my father, who always had a nocturnal life, at least that is how I remember my childhood. Seeing him preparing for a good night with himself, the computer, the vcr, his books, himself, or just by simply contemplating the night, through is own unique way of being.

It is rather ironic that for this shift, I am surrounded by machines that keep the audio signals going through the airwaves to all 5 antenas, and to keep my self going, I brought my computer, my books, and my wit to keep me going through the night.

Walking through the corridors, I feel the echoes of the day that has just passed, and yet lingering the feeling of life that all the producers, sound-technicians, spokesman, and all the ones involved on making radio produced while they were here.
Am I going mad, or are the spirits of yesterday trying to reach me tonight?
That would certainly make this night more interesting.
Just imagine, if the spirit of Mr. Wells would storm into studio 19, and all the sudden the classical channel would change from its traditional routine to a remake of his classical performance of the war of the worlds! Why that would definitely make the night become day, to many people, I am sure!
This kind of magic only happens at night, when the lights are so dimmed, that what you do not see is what allows you to imagine whatever you are inspire to think, such like what you hear adapts as your new soundtrack for what you start to imagine.

I will keep you posted for the graveyard shift, as it unravels my imagination.

Ta

C


mamuts@gmail.com