Loose

.

So I went to the doctor the other day, and he told me I have an illness that is produced by stress. I feel no stress, but I guess it is in my mind, in a back-office somewhere, acting upon my body, to express that something is wrong with me.
It is true that the last few months have been rather hectic.
Soon, I will be on "my own". I will be loose.
I think that I am afraid of being alone. I reach out in search of people. Not crowds of people, but just people that are significant enough to be there if I need something. I guess I don't really need anything from them, except for them to be there to act upon that possibility.
It might just be that I do not wish to be loose at all.
But I guess it is important. I need to make a stand, and stop relying some much on those who are around. Maybe because one day, I will really need them, and they won't be able to provide with what I need.

So, I better learn to be loose. Even though my mother keeps telling me that we can't take the world alone with us. I think that she means that at one point, someone will need to do something for us.

I guess Papini said it best.
We own nothing except the self. The clothes, the computers, the food, their all a result of collective effort. If I am a farmer, I will need someone to give me clothes in exchange of money.
All the things we have are always a result of someone else's work.
We cannot be that self-suficient, that we can put aside the world altogether.
Relationships are important as well, for clarity, for perspective. To show that there are more than one way to act upon a set of circumstances, and that no matter what, circumstances are just really elements roaming around, that can be interpreted in so many ways.

But my mind wonders loosely now. I think I will just take another breath, for now, and another in a second or so. Otherwise, I will be obsessed by a circumstance, that might not even be there