Dismay

"And if you are dismayed, be cheerful now."

For the past few months, I have been rather sad and blue.
I guess I have been blaming it on my ill luck with what I thought was my fate.
Turn out the fate is constantly being written by us with every choice we make.

Choices are much like a process of communication, at least, in the light of pragmatic of communication, which states that it is impossible not to communicate.
Everyone is always communicating, even by the act of not saying or expressing anything, your are communicating just that, your wish not to be apart of something. It is therefore a process of choice.

For a period I decided to fight my ill fate, and refuse the facts as they were.
Most possibly I do not understand neither the facts nor the actions that lead to the consequences.
I can speculate
I can wonder about it.

I realized that it does not matter, because I will never know the real reason.
That door is shut, from the other side, on the grounds of mercy, or pity, or sympathy, or some kind of extraodinary excuse that may clear the conscience of those who believe in such way of behaving.

The incredible is dismay of my part is the illusion of friendship, that apparently is impossible to hold.
I do not kid myself, I mean nothing more than a ill memory.
Where us from myside I am all memory... by a mere blink of the eyes.

The magic is that I am stronger in my heart
I believe
and I do.

so, I believe that I can finally overcome the dismay