Memory Gospel

If I was to die today, I would like you to know that I love you.
I know that it does not matter much to you.
You probably do not even remember me, if you ever come across this.
People might assume that this is my personal fad, but in fact is the ultimate expression of my being.
If you ever wondered what was your purpose in life, let yourself feel the comfort that you were loved, really loved by at least one person, me. I am sure that I am not the only one.
I like to remember you this way, even though it pains me the torture of having to live every day without you, until I die.
But like AJ once said: "love is about surrendering".
Surrendering to the fact that we cannot change the nature of the people we love, as they cannot change our own. That not all the love in the world could heal what was by default broken.
I was mesmerized by your subtle presence in my life, and I thank you for the gift of love, even though it had to come at the high cost of grief. I welcome the grief now, because it is soothing me these days.
In a way it has lost the edge of anxiety.
Now it is more the feeling of a fading memory, like a pulsing light that is now giving way to darkness due to a ailing battery, that for now is growing weaker.
These, my memory gospels are but echos over a voice that want to remember that life can be beautiful, even if they are doomed to be fragments of a life rather than the whole.
But what is life if not the collection of memories that one gathers throughout existence.

You are the gospel of this era.
Thank you for your time in my life.
I guess we follow different paths now.