Arithemetics does not solve this equation

A few months ago, I was offered with a solution to sooth my loss with the following statement:
"At least you had some words, some people have nothing, they are just left aside with no explanation... they just disappear"
I found it ludicrous, to say the least, that the pain of others could ever serve to sooth my own.
On this regard I have curious thoughts that come to mind.
It is like being on a ship that is sinking, with 10 people, and only 8 fit on the raft. You then use arithemetics to solve the equation - those are older, or those do not have a family, or those are sick and might die soon.
It is like finding comfort in other peoples misery "I am lonely, but at least I am not homeless like that guy". "I lost my two legs and I can't walk, but at least I am not like that guy who is a coma"
How can I ever feel happy for any of these thoughts!?
How can the minus of the other be my plus?
How can the guy is a widower make me feel better for my emptiness?
How can the misbehaviours of others attone for any of the bad feelings I have that are induced by others!
Truthfully, the perspective of looking to the side and see the misery of others is quite annoying and demeaning.
The need to offer consolation on the basis of, it could have been worse is insane.
It is always the option of looking to the empty side of the glass.
My thoughts are. This is as it is. Now I live with it, in the hopes that one day I find the strength to overcome the feeling that haunts me for months.
Tell it to a mother who lost a child :"at least you are still alive, and you can have more, other people can't!"
Can somebody tell me if I am being mad.
Life has many shades of grey, and it is quite difficult to navigate in the foggy waters.
My pain sometimes is so severe that I get blinded by feeling.
My pain is my own.
I am entitled to it.
i live it.
I do not enjoy it
I do not want it.
And will be dammed if your pain or the pain of another will ever take my pain away.
If it did, I would be a dictator, comanding pain around, just to hide my own.

No arithemetics will heal my bleeding heart.
I was trapped by my expectations and the world vanished before my eyes.
Without power supply, I had no energy.
Slowly I take my day to make it better
What really helps is to sooth by actions the other people
Being there for them, tending for them.
Listening
Making them laugh for a minute or so
Be able to rebuild
Not to forget, but instead to honour the memory of who we are.

I wish you never have to feed your heart with the pain of others just to be cool about yourself.
It annoys me so.