Words remind me of you

I desperately want to get you out of my head, but unfortunately your memories linger on.
Why do you have to linger?
Why does your presence remain to torture me still?
Your physic left me over a year ago
Your will left me one late september morning
Your mind left me in march, with a thank you
But all your residual existence taunts me still.
What did I ever do to you?
I think I did nothing much to you.
Conscience dictates that I might have neglected words, who, like myseff towards you, obcessed compulsively about a possible present that I denied on the ground of unfortunate nature.
Alas, vengance has a sweet hold on me, and I am now tortured by the same lingering thoughts I left on to others to overcome.
Today, I cannot read the word cosmonaut without reminding of a specific time that you somehow used it to refer to some ironic aspect of your life.

I am now on a vaccation, that was supposed to be a blessed pause, but unfortunately your memory visits me over and over again.
What must I do?
I do not call you
I do not see pictures of you
You are rarelly mentioned on my conversations.
Why do I hold such a painful reminder of you?
Selona, Korcula, a flag, a child smile, cosmetic salon,
I hate this taunting
I do not want it
I do not deserve it
It makes me a bitter and more cynical person
I lose love for life

I guess, dear one, that in the end, I realize that these, my nightmares are only a figment of my imagination that I cannot shake, and to which I am the only one to blame.

I think the price of loving you is higher than what i was willing to afford
Now the consequences remain, and sadness, loneliness and a feeling of being lost accompany me like the revolving moon, which regulary shows its presence.

maybe one day, you can fathom any of these recollections.
For now, you don't give a damm, because you released yourself from the burden of my presence.
I wish nothing less, than release me life from the memory of you, which clearly brings me no value. Instead it underlines my weakness, which at this rate is impossible to bury.

The happiness we shared no longer was worth all the sorrow it caused.
I know now that trust must be earned and not given  to those who do not deserve it. For those who earn easy, expend easily that which they have obtained.
And you had me too easily.

Never again!