Fear

Hello dear ones.

Its fear again.
I don't know exactly why.
I can try and give it a name, or a reason, or an entity.
Perchance is the fear of being alone. Nah, it can't be. I have friends. I share my house with a friend. I get around with people from work, from school, from my family. So I guess that is covered.
It might be my masters. Hell yeah! That has been a bummer. A terrible nuisance. But I can end it, any time I want. I just need to quit.
Maybe I do not like to quit. It makes me look weak. It makes me feel weak. It makes me feel like there are things I cannot do. Well, I know that I have limits, and that there are many things I cannot do. Like doing the tour de France, or going to the moon, or flying a plane. I mean, I think if I had my heart into it, I would find ways of doing them.
Maybe what is really going on, is that I do not have my mind into anything. So I guess the fear is running deeper than the common outer shell. What is bothering me is this continuous lack of purpose.
A fear of emptiness, that for the last decade or so, has been filled with outside sources.
Its not from the outside that I am going to be fulfilled that is for sure.
So, I think that the fear in me, can only be solved by me.
Thanks for tuning in.

C