Late at night

Hello dear ones!

Frequently, I lay in my bed gathering my memories of the day that is about to end, as soon as I take a few hours of rest. I guess, my rest determines the end of my day, rather than the most common midnight transference routine.
In any case, I lay here and wonder.
Sometimes, I wonder about the bad things - that which I loath, despise and hate.
About all that I wish I could change
All that I know I can change, but do very little or nothing at all to change it.
All that I know that I have changed, but regret doing it.

I think about my friends.
I think about how fortunate I have been to encounter unique individuals in my life, even the despicable ones.
I think that all of them brought some sort of teaching, in this big journey that I have been pursuing for the past 37 years.
37.
Wow.
What a flash!
It goes by like a dream.
There are so many possibilities ahead still.
So now I think a little a bit about the future.
Not so much what I want to happen there, but what can I be doing, right here in the present to let the possibility happen.
I wish I would not regret so much all that is lost.
I know that I have indulge myself many pleasures, that in some cases became sour, and were the detonator for ill pain that floated from within. Even so, I guess I am lucky, because none of these events have made me endure permanent damage. I guess that in a way, with each experience I gained knowledge and took further steps.
I cannot blame anyone really.
I have learned to identify what I do not like, and I have been doing a good job staying away from it.
I have also learned that what I do not like, is not a global equation. I mean, many other people may be perfectly comfortable with that which I dislike. So there is no true universal love.
For all the living creatures the only constant is change.
Even the planet which seems a huge blue sphere in the vastness of space is changing.
Nothing remains eternal without change.
So the best lesson I think of right now is that I cannot change anybody, nor should I try. Because everyone already has a path of change that naturally is taking place. My presence is only part of that design that is unfolding with each passing second. Little by little we change, as cells die and new ones take its place.
So I accept the difference of others, but I also reserve myself the right of liking and disliking.
I also grant myself the chance to change my mind about things - that is to say, that maybe tomorrow something that I disliked become something that I start enjoying, and vice-versa.

I guess, that late at night, on this exact night, I realize, that I embrace change, I welcome it.
With it comes evolution, revolution, and growth.

A toast to change.
If I can understand it properly, I would say that there is no such thing as good change or bad change, because the combinations are endless, and what seems a bad thing now, might indeed be the seed for a wonderful change. But all these considerations are ever so relative.
So, I will leave those for another day ;)