Sad & True

Hello!
I wish I could truly understand what is going on with me.
Is it fear?
Is it the unknown of things to come?
Has my patience towards others expired, rendering me a hopeless grumpy thirty-something?
Truly, I do not know.

I know this.
I am sad.
I do not reckon that the problem is obvious.
Perhaps it is.
I just do not see it as such.
What I see, is a tremendous lack of passion towards all that is around me.
I guess, that I am not able to see past my belly button.
I think that everything revolves around the little things I see and aspire to come true.
Love pretentious have fooled me so many times.
I project so much on my prospective significant others, only to be defrauded by my own overly ambitious expectations.
Even when all the elements seem to align, the prove remains that it does not depend on how good one can be, there is always some element.
The voice is too high.
The sensitive is overwhelming.
The lack of touch is insensitive.
The conversation has no common ground.
There is too much fear.
There is nothing more to be. But me.

Then, on the other side.. The great expectations.
Classes.

The book of lost senses.
Who am I, once more?