Reply to an open letter about love, loneliness and depression

The following text is a reply to an open letter about some interesting topics such as love, loneliness, depression and ways to cope with it.

Dear one,

Thank you for your open letter. 

You wrote some intriguing words that make up for a really good conversation starter.

Let me address the topics you are interested in talking about. 

Love

Excuse me the pun, I love it. 

I mean who doesn't like falling in love and feeling love. 

One of my favourite songs is "Love to be Loved" by Peter Gabriel. 

I would say, love is the intrinsic bond among human beings. I do believe there is a specific type of bond that connects all living creatures too, I am just not sure if for the sake of this argument it applies here, so lets leave it aside for the moment. 

It is interesting to be discussing Love with you, a perfect stranger, when just the other day I was listening to a podcast about relationships. The therapist in the podcast mentioned two things that I would like to bring for your consideration. 

First, the confusion most people have with Passion and Love.

For him, Passion is something that is hard to explain, mainly because of biochemical reasons, the personality of each member of the couple, life's circumstances, what makes us feel attracted to someone, but most importantly, passion in relative terms has a short time span.

What happens after the passion stage if the person wants to go on with the romantical partner is that they must want to build a relationship, which is love. So, love is a construction. We do not fall in love, we feel passion and then we start building a relationship based on common grounds. 

The therapist continued by saying that the most corrosive aspect in a couple's relationship is the way people handle each other. People need to care for each other with kindness. Although it is usual within a relationship to have different points of view, arguments, it is important that those aspects be dealt in a kind, peaceful, with a tone of voice that does not convey anger (like shouting). Many couples make winning an argument their reason for being, because they are competitive. In an argument between a couple, there are no winners or losers. What the couple must do is talk and think hard on the reasons why they are together. They should not break up at the first signs of trouble. Troubles are normal and they carry with them lessons for the relationship to evolve. 

The other topic I think might be important to bring here is a theory that he proposes - the bonding theory.

So in his words. 

In a stable relationship, each member of the couple serve has a psychological safety net for the other. So the theory states, that as babies, we connect in a first stage with our parents looking for that safety net. According to the theory it was thought that the behaviour we display as babies towards our parents, is somewhat similar to what happens with the romantic couple. Basically, in some studies, the main ingredient that holds a couple together is the psychological safety they transmit to each other. Put it differently, we all have moments where we are vulnerable, humiliated, offended, where we were badly treated or misunderstood. It is very important to have someone beside us that might listen and provide  comfort and psychological safety and support. 

That is one of the basic elements for the relationship to last, the fact that you can count on each other. Trust! 

So, what happens in many couples today, they are not able to build the safety net among themselves and the trust is never built. Consequently. the relationship doesn't even reach love and stays in the  earlier stages such as passion - the biochemistry of pleasures.

I think these points that the therapist mentioned gives us something to reflect about your topic of  love. 

But let me give you some additional personal insight of mine.

I had many relationships, that I thought were love. But I think most of them were just passion. Unfortunately, most of my relationships never lasted more than one year. My girlfriends and me were not able to build a sufficiently strong bond to hold us through time. 

It could be so easy to spread blame, and I could give you different reasons why people would break up. 

Let me show you a list of typical reasons:

He stopped feeling passion for her

She felt he was too childish

He was not feeling the connection to continue a relationship of dependence

She was too aggressive

She was too much in control and was eager all the time

They were not able to carry through with  a common project. 

She wanted to have kids and He did not want to feel attached to her for life.

He was to fragile emotionally, and she wanted a stronger man

The distance was becoming harder to keep and the "I miss you" were becoming harder and harder to cope.

She was emotionally fragile in the beginning and was always predicting that the relationship would end, and so she did.

I could have given you more reasons on why some of my relationships did not work, but they were all interpretations of two different people who were at distinct stages, with heavy emotional luggage that seemed too hard to carry. So, the easiest way was to quit, me or them and sometimes both. But, I think that in most of the times, the passion stage finished when the troubles started showing and one or the other or both were not able to deal with the work needed to overcome the specific situation. In other words, we were not able to build a safety net to support each other in a relationship mode.

I know the letter is going long, but I have the feeling that your interest in the topics you mentioned were of  a somewhat personal nature. 

Well I might be wrong but you tell me if you feel like it. 

In any case, let me just give you a few notes about some of the other topics you brought up.

Loneliness

After a breakup or a loss of a loved one it is not unusual to feel loneliness. After all, even if a relationship lasted a year, there were habits that you were accustomed. Another reason, might be that you were so focused on the relationship that you neglected friends and family for the duration of the relationship, and that now you might feel lonely. My experience is that the real friends they are always there and they will welcome us with open arms to talk about the griefs, ours and theirs. 

Most likely, they too have experienced grieves of their own and just want to share their story with us, because our experience resonates with theirs. 

My suggestion for those dealing with loneliness is to accept that is just a perception, you are not necessarily lonely, you are just experience alone time in a heavily sad moment. There is nothing wrong with that. It is a life lesson, you learn to ride that wave of grief and loneliness and it might help to know that others rode their loneliness wave too. Somewhere they found a safe harbour where they could feel better even if they were alone but where loneliness lost their hold on them. 

There is an hidden advantage of experiencing hard moments in life. It helps you understand the grief that other people experience in their lives. Only after you have experienced certain things will you be able to truly be empathic with another. You do not have to experience all of it, but with a few bad experiences you can start relating to distinct to experiences of others that like you might have bad moments.

Another good way to deal with loneliness is to meditate about it. Do some breathing exercises and imagine that the clouds that surround you in that helpless feeling will soon dissipate and the sun of wholeness will shine once again.

Depression

Fortunately, I do not think I have ever sink that low, but I understand how helpless someone might feel in this state.

Much like loneliness, this can be seen as temporary stage, where the safety net of the self is out of balance.

One might feel completely overwhelmed with the simplest of tasks. 

So, the first thing you have to do is to acknowledge that you are not ok. 

Seek help. There is no shame in getting help. We get help all the time. To fix our car, to care for our health, to do something that for a some reason we are not able to do on our own. 

Friends, family and medical help can and should be the first lines of help given to someone who is experiencing depression. 

The main aspect to focus is that it is a temporary stage of life - A bad slope that slowly can be overcome. 

I think you can infer that I too have experienced some bad moments in my life. I accepted them, acknowledged the lessons I needed to learn from them and tried to focus on my well-being. I tried doing some kind of physical activity. Some as simple as walking. I tried meditation, using apps on my phone like Headspace. I would call friends and talked about it. But most of all I would try to make a routine of things to do that would make me feel that I was moving towards something. At one point, I joined Slowly, just to talk to strangers to feel connected to someone new. 

Happily, this is not my state today. But I know that a bad slope might happen again for me. When that happens, I might need to deal with my issues and learn new lessons. There is nothing wrong with that. 

It is not selfish to care for ourselves first at the most fundamental level, our health. Just think, if we are not well, we are not able to help others. So start with yourself and then be kind to others, they too might be grieving. 

Take good care of yourself and those around you if you can.

Kind regards,

Creation Muses

In Greek mythology, there were creatures that would cause awe and inspiration to those who came near them. The blessing of such contact was enough to render them with images, sights, sounds that needed to be conveyed through canvas, song, poem or any other form of expression that was available to the intrepid wanderers that might have come across such gentle and inspiring creatures. 

Lately, I have been in need of such a creature as my inner voice has dimmed silently to a whisper. As such my creations are bereft of any true purpose or meaning. A purpose in meaning. What does anything mean to me? What is the purpose then to do the things I do?

I believe that I create to muse others. Well, frankly to be granted a thank you for their amusement. It is a trade you see. They smile, and I glitter. 

But I know that when love strikes, I tend to find that unique audience of one more powerful than the largest of crowded rooms in the world. After all the divine attention of one loves trumps the attention of the world. Isn't one's affection the price of the world. So to have a proposal to create to the one I care for, should be a reward on its own, to fill me with confidence, that anything is possible in the given time.

 

How I long to create, something wonderful, something that muses the muse.

To creation hall I dive, where the mirrored gate allows me to ponder on my reflection with Narcissus gaze and be proud of who I am, because I am about to create with the fire of inspiration. 

Now... only time will tell, how fair my inspiration will be. 

Porcelain

"In my dreams I am dying all the time" - Moby 

If I am feeling frail is because I allow it to be, perchance choose it at some unconscious level. They say I am very sensitive but alas this feature seems to bring a melancholy that is just good to appreciate the sadness of the poets, musicians, painters, hopeless dreamers like myself that like to to dwell in the holes in life rather than fill them with the simple thankful nature of being alive. 

This post is called porcelain, because like a piece of china I feel that the cracks in my life can no longer be hidden by the glue that binds me together. The metaphorical scars of my life are present in my flesh by actual scars of existence. It is like I was driven to episodes to draw these marks on my skin as a bitter reminder that my soul carries these life features well within. 

This might just be another creative spat with myself, or a sense of a life poorly lived. Whatever it is, it is good to flag it, so that when I am at my peak performance, because I do not delude myself, I have yet to reach my peak in terms of where my soul is headed, as I was writing when I do reach that top of the pops for my soul I will be able to be thankful for this check point. After all there is nothing wrong in accepting that sometimes life does not bring us what we expect from it, but rather gives us challenges to overcome and evolve. 

"Then I wake, it's kaleidoscopic mind

I never meant to hurt you

I never meant to lie

So this is goodbye?

This is goodbye" - Moby

Goodbye to this state of mind. 

"Prepare to say goodbye to all of this 

and hello to oblivion" - Riff Raff

"Hello, I must be going

I cannot stay, I came to say, "I must be going"

I'm glad I came but just the same I must be going, la-la!" - Groucho Marx

Sublime

sublime
as a verb

sub·​lime sə-ˈblīm 
sublimed; subliming

Synonyms of sublime
transitive verb
1)  to cause to pass directly from the solid to the vapor state and condense back to solid form
2) [French sublimer, from Latin sublimare]

a
: to elevate or exalt especially in dignity or honor
: to render finer (as in purity or excellence)
b
: to convert (something inferior) into something of higher worth
intransitive verb
: to pass directly from the solid to the vapor state

as adjective

1) lofty, grand, or exalted in thought, expression, or manner
2) of outstanding spiritual, intellectual, or moral worth
3) tending to inspire awe usually because of elevated quality (as of beauty, nobility, or grandeur) or transcendent excellence

Who am I to differ? Sublime to be sure...

Theater

All the screens are staged...

Yes... this again. Shakespeare. Shaken not stirred. 

We are back to the center of the spotlight, for we wandered for decades now, struggling to find our place. And in this stage of stages, we lurk for the meaning of a single breath. For life is immortal in the single present of the limelight. 

It may only be a glimmer of attention by all, but in this spec of a planet, we find ourselves playing the role of our lives -  our own. 

By the end of the day, such as it was in its beginning, we are confined to the character our soul has written for us. 

So the theater, the public, the stage, the sets, the extras, the players, all that is material becomes insubstantial, as the dream fades reality into the night time of oblivion. 

I know that I will awake tomorrow to play the part that is bestowed upon me, even if I linger at night... daydreaming of what am I suppose to be throughout this lifetime.

 

Life is filled with tricks, but we can only fall for the ones that are meant to sooth our comfort. 

Reality is as painless as we allow it to be, but still we wonder about the pain that we suffer in the mortal coil. 

Resistance is futile - pain or no pain, this play will end when the curtain of existence is pulled in front of our eyes - and at last our essence is freed from the pins that sting us to the worldly stage we inhabited for a day or a century. Our shackles are at last broken, and the applause can be heard in the tears of all the souls we touch during our life's performance.

 

Nightmare

I do believe that nightmares are panic attacks from the sub-conscience. 

What is it that we dread so much that has to come to us in the form of dreams that are horrific in content and form? Fascinating is the lingering effect that those terrifying expressions from within carry to our present, past the point of awakening. Just this past night I dreamed of mutants closing in on me, as I was about to enter a warehouse where something was calling for my attention. I know that I woke up startled with the afterthought that the strange creatures were still with me, and my thoughts carried contradictory messages, as if it was impossible for them to be here, but same time a cautious feeling kept me awake for a few minutes. 

I have no idea what the message of this dream was. It was to complex to make heads or tails from it. I just know that I was in danger or at lease that was my perception. 

What are nightmares after all? To be continued to be sure.

Silence

"It's the great, big, broad land 'way up yonder, 

It's the forests where silence has lease; 

It's the beauty that thrills me with wonder, 

It's the stillness that fills me with peace"

The spell of the Yukon by Robert W. Service

Where silence has lease is where my soul finds the quiet melody of inner peace. Surrounding me in that unique space of zero frequencies, I feel the pulse of my own symphony - the song unwritten screaming to be sung and yet finding no safe passage to the surface of reality. This twilight like place of inner light and inner quietude fills me with the prospect of a life beyond the flesh. So, this inner soundless song, can be felt rather than heard when I let go of all expectations and accept the present in me for what it is - a subtle gift of existence. 

I sometimes forget that me as an I or a self contained being, am more than the whole sum of this life of worldly experiences which this vessel allowed me to experience thus far. These hopes, dreams and disappointments are nothing more than echoes of a flesh like hunger... a thirst for comfort. Sumptuous food, delicate sounds, soft touch, aromatic essence, breathtaking views - all are nothing more than mere desires from the senses pinned to my soul as demands of my body existence. 

So, I need to plunge into that mirror pool of silence to cleanse myself, from all the noises of wants and needs the world teases me with, like a sort of mâitre d' would in a fancy cosmos. Because if I do not, I will always be on the look out for the next big experiment to indulge myself with. During this lifetime, I have looked for love and affection in all the wrong places and for all the wrong reasons. Always as a means to bring meaning to a life that has in itself an abundance of meaning and requires nothing more than just being. 

Unfortunately the soul that is experiencing the existence has forgotten that he is the player and not the character, thus the wants and needs of the character are not really his own. And so, the noise of grief that is uttered to himself every now and again is not actually his, but a projection of what the character has been driven to do. 

I need to recoil myself to the inner silence of purpose and truly feel that the best is yet to come, even though there is nothing like the present - that in the field of dreams where there is nothing stopping me from feeling whole again.

Now...Let us be quiet and still for a few seconds that may last like forever, but this unique present can truly grant you a moment of peace without thought, so that at last that inner song of silence may be finally be heard with the ears of the soul - and meaning and purpose can be restored. 

Earthquake

A couple of days ago there was a 5.3 earthquake of the west coast of Portugal at 5:11 am. A lot of people were shaken by this and weren't able to go back to sleep. For a few days, that was the main topic of conversation among people. After all how common is it for the earth to shake beneath our feet. It turns out, that it is quite common, but most of it is so mild that people dismiss as if a heavy lorry just drove by the street and shook some windows with the unwanted trepidation. 

The truth of the matter is that we are all frightened with our own demise. It shakes us to the core to know that we might die at any minute, that it is beyond our control. The illusion that we will leave a bit longer is important to permeate the false sense of security we might have. This is quite simple a middle class problem, a group of people who think they have the bare minimum to live a comfortable life, but are not aware that they are slaves to a system of existencial rules that they help to impose everyday by living according to what is expected or perchance to impress others. 

So I guess, in symbolic terms it is good to have a quake every now and again to remind us all of our mortality, even though, the shake itself is insufficient to awake the soul inside the mindless drones that roam the daily life as ordinary citizens. They are all trying desperately to fit in, in a society that is designed to crumble if the earth shakes too much, because altruism and compassion are not in the front mind of most of them but rather pride, envy and ambition. 

Until we quake again...

Trash

Nothing wielding onto this white piece of technological canvas, have I been able to craft  such a meaningful creation that might earn a quality seal that explains what waste is. To write about trash  having not dwell on the matter for a certain length, it is to impose a voice of one's soul that knows so little about garbage as of any other issue in this so-called reality. 

What is trash then? 

Perchance the remains of a once purposeful item that has now been rendered useless by the current owner and as such has been shown to a proper litter box, where items with similar purpose are being gather to be evicted from the premisses of the manor.

But the detritus of some might be the broken pieces that complete a new purpose for others. Like so many things in this life, everything, even trash is a very relative term. After all the peels of fruit and vegetables can be used to do fertilizers that can help with the crops. 

The fuel fossil that powers so many of the machines in the man's world are actually made of remains of beings that lived many years ago. If anyone was around to see it they might refer to it as a sort of trash, but after a cycle of rebirth is completed a new purpose was found. So trash is only trash from a very narrow point of view. 

Granted that for mankind, the accumulation  of so-called trash, brings many problems for the organization of the world as a living entity, but truth be told, nature has a way of taking the trash out and recycling for many of our generations. From the stand point of nature itself, we too as a species will become fossil fuel for other species to come. 

Despite being a very unpleasant item to have, most of the waste that is produced today comes from excess comfort. People tend to have more than they need and disband easily what they assume is pointless. However, pointless is in itself an interpretation. Likewise, the words that are stated here for many can be just an expression of my views in 2024, but most likely to many will be just trash. 

Essence

I begun with a spark

That is my essence

I will end the nature that comprises this being like a flame the shines brighter than its origin. 

The pure energy that pulsates within these heartfelt veins pomp in me the will to feel, to long, to exist, to go further.

Of all that is pure, life lies in the dreams that propel me forward,

yet I look backwards to see how far I have come, 

not knowing exactly how far must I go. 

Perchance to stay in the moment, in the now of events, to be who nothing more than me.

In my travels I came across many shades of being

stranded in this spiraling third rock unknowingly what song ressonates with in.

Shadows do not dimmer my days, for the light of self-confidence shines the path that brought me here

Thoughts, words and actions are but the building blocks of creation.

So until, my very last thought I will speak the word that comprises the action of being all that I am and not an ounce more than I was meant to become. 

With this pulsating life, I am now still thankful to be for as long as I have to be.

Perchance to be

Dear self, it is quite alright to be you. 

The world is not concerned about your role during your lifetime. In the point of view of the universe you are but a speck of dust that will have little to none relevance in the cosmic scheme of things. That being said you have your own human experience to consider. This time here and now are meant for you to play out an array of situations, explore your feelings and reason into existence whatever might be the purpose of yourself. Perhaps like the fisherman story, your purpose is just to spend your time fishing and enjoying the catch of the day with friends and family while the sunset carries the sun out of sight. 

To be the good guy or the bad one it really doesn't matter. I mean for you it is the most important thing. But that only applies in very relative terms.  You can keep on thinking what is expected of you, how important are you, what rules should you follow? 

But face the facts in absolute terms, two hundred years from now nobody will have any idea of who you were and what was your role for the first half of the twenty-first century, granted that you will get there.

So, I not do yourself a favor, and just be, who you feel like being. A movie director, an editor, a lover, a dreamer, a listener, a street wanderer, a star gazer, a cheap cook, it doesn't matter. Just take time to be, experience, enjoy, savor the bag of emotions that were designed for you. Define a purpose that makes sense to you. Do not expect for the cheers of others, they will not come. You came alone into the world, and in time you will cease this experience and be alone - in the new role the universe might cast you.

 

Light

Go into the light. The message is strong, as it is the first thing a new born does when leaving the womb for the first time and experience light for the first time. If one as a natural birth, it might seem like crossing a tunnel and reaching a new destination - your life. Oddly enough, the imagination of many authors is that life should pretty much the same way, where you might experience a new tunnel towards a light that might lead you to a new possibility of being - an afterlife to be sure. In some sense, the light bears the calm as opposition to the scares of darkness. On the other hand, historically, darkness has also been a form of protection to hide from possible predators or enemies that might try to put you in the spotlight. In the navy, the lighthouse has been a sentinel which warns the seamen of the dangers along the shores by using a pulse of light that rotates in a certain pattern carrying a message. Light has been linked to hope, not just because of the connection with birth and afterlife, but rather the need to bring light over darkness in all issues. Light brings clarity wherever darkness has lease. Mind you that light imposes on darkness, but cannot overcome the physical hence leaving the echoes of darkness behind in the form of shadows. Shadows themselves which operate in the twilight, unable to be in either of the world. In the darkness they cannot be seen, and in the light they are exposed for the figment of imagination they might have been if not for the light.

Addiction to Technology

If I spend too many hours using technology am I addicted?

I think so. One day, I looked at my Instagram stats and it said I had an daily use of about 4 to 5 hours, and that is just one app.

After all, I start my day looking at my cellphone. Usually, I will search on Whatsapp and Instagram if I got any new messages. E-mail hasn't been a communication tool for me in a while. I use it for official purposes and those answers usually take a while to come back. I know that I am emotionally connected via technology to other people, so I look at my phone or my computer to see if I get any response from people that I am invested in some way, romantically, affectionately, professionally... 

To distract myself from my worries, I use apps like duolinguo to pretend I am learning a new language, or Instagram to pretend that I am getting information about the world, when all I get are tidbits of digested info designed to lure me into an endless loop of vertical swipes. 

I also come home and turn on streaming apps like Prime TV, Max or Disney to find some consumable series or movies that might burn some time and possible blur my focus further from my own life issues. It is like taking a glass of wine just to dull the feelings. I guess I do this more when I feel l am alone and it is been feeling unbearably lonely as of late. (Not that being a lone is a problem, feeling as if it is loneliness that makes it into a problem and quite frankly the way I have been dealing with it makes it a problem). 

The worst side effect that it has on me is creating a shorter span of attention. It is becoming increasingly more difficult to focus on information. Reading books has been substituted by eBooks but I don't even spend that much time reading, because it requires a focus that it has been missing. 

Earlier today, I fiddled with the idea of loneliness and it has become clearer to me that my interaction with the technology is responsible for my growing loneliness... So if I spend time looking at an app to see if I get a reply to a message, it can only mean that I am addicted to the trigger of response. 

Side-note: Many years ago, when I was a teenager, the entertainment at the house was VHS movies or series and Spectrum video-games, that would take about 5 minutes or so to load. Back then I noticed that I was being too addicted to that, so I tried a week of without playing, I do not remember if I steered clear of the TV entertainment at the same time. I know that for a few days it produce some effect on me. It was good. I am considering backing off from technology for awhile, just to see if I can rebound my feelings to a better state. 

But, I know that it is going to be hard to disconnect, because I feel that to do so, is to cut myself from the hive where my family and friends are most of the time. 

You see, we have agreed to be seemingly semi-permanently  connected to a Net of information and entertainment that keep us distracted from being alive and this happens to a point where we cannot stand to be in the place where silence has lease. 

Maybe I should start with a small diet, granting myself one hour of internet access per day and use it accordingly. Books will hopefully be a patch to outgrow this addiction. 

I hope I make it better and realize that being alone does not preclude a loneliness sentence.

Loneliness of a lonely August

I am the owner of a lonely life all because I tend poorly of my many friends. 

August, this wrecked warm month of fires and beaches, has had this depressive effect on me. A sense of  loneliness that seems to pour heavily on me during its tenure. Ever since I was a young boy, I would see my friends happily roaming south with their families as if they were storks enjoying the good weather and harvesting the best of memories. Alas, my parents were not of the traveling kind. Mostly my vacations would be spent at home or sometimes going to the near by beaches on the south shore of Lisbon's Metropolitan Area with my mother or some friends that would happen to be stranded between journeys of their own. Occasionally, I might go with my mom up north to visit my grandparents. For reasons not important for this post, my dad only started going with us after I was eleven. My first memory of him going there, was actually to "rescue" us from a large fire that was menacing  the area in the summer of 1988. But granted that this would become a staple in my memory for a most unique summer, since that same year I think I traveled with my parents to Spain for the very first time.

But, this year again, I feel the empty caress of the lonesome heart during the summer of 2024. Luckily, my professional occupation has kept me traveling all over Portugal during two weeks, bringing some larger meaning to my days. It is interesting though that my life's meaning comes from my work. I would say that this does not bode well for my retirement years, twenty years from now. 

Maybe if I have a more nuclear family of my own, I can manage to enjoy the summer better. 

Still, it is not good to wish upon companionship to give one's life meaning, after all I should sustain myself for who I am or for whomever I might become. 

My many friends know how to entertain themselves during the summer. Some are married with children, others living abroad pursuing their purposes, others just better at enjoying their lonely time, others better at tending relationships, hence being able to find a group of friends to make the best of their time. 

Now, my "summer vacations" are all most up and they leave me not with a bag full of enjoyable memories, but rather the holes of empty space spent resting because there was nothing more appealing to do. Well, a couple of duolinguo's German courses, a couple hundred pages read of Stephen Chbosky's Imaginary Friend, some extra shots and interviews for a documentary about my mother's home village (from which I cannot seem to make heads or tails of its structure), eating, walking, exercising for half an hour, binging Season 2 of Star Trek's Prodigy, and of course wishing upon stars over skies that too cloudy for me to make wishes.

I guess my wish for this summer would be  for me to stop feeling so lonely but rather more appreciative f the simple things that present myself during each day and may be then I could revert to a self sustain individual that is well, independently if the company is present or not.

"After all festivities all guests must depart... this sadness, I do not know. When I go home, the moon goes with me and my shadow follows me" excerpt from Li-Po's The Little Fete.

 

Perseides

Perseides are "those born of Perseus and Andromeda"

In astronomic terms, it is the season where we should gaze at the night skies and behold the shooting stars... those meteorites that burst into flames as they hurdle at phenomenal speeds pulled by our own Earth's gravity.

This is starry season apparently, unfortunately for me during these days the weather is rather cloudy on my neck of the woods. So if I was suppose to make a wish upon the site of a shooting star, I am unable to, seen that I am unable to see when they are actually, well... shooting.

So the myth will have to hold on for one year more. I know, from experience, that this is no myth. I have seen in previous years shooting stars around this time of the year. The astronomers explanation that this is due to the Earth's orbit passes by a debris field of a previous planet or moon or space body, that increase the chance of actual meteorites being pulled in hence creating the shooting stars spectacle that cause awe and wonder... plus allowing for the fantasy of fulfilling or at least wish upon some new objective.

I guess what is left to be stated is my wish. I will tell you, as if you, who know me, did not know already. 

Reciprocal and prosperous love. If not for all the inhabitants of the world, well at least for me. After all I am the one making it, and I do not feel that altruistic about it.

Nonetheless, I guess it will have to wait one more year, until the perseides are granted clear skies for clear wishes to be unequivocally conceded to those who make them happen.

Perseus and Andromeda, I guess I will see your kids next year. Take care of you, deities.

 

 

888

 Allegedly, today is an special day, as we are in the eight day of the eighty moment, on the year whose numbers add up to eight (2+0+2+4). 

I have a wishful thinking where it comes to my mystical side. Always thinking on the best possible outcome of course. If there are aliens, I trust that they will be good, at least I do prefer those kinds rather than those who bring there own cookbook "To serve man".

The energy of angels is among us, it will be to inspire us and not to destroy us. This is a process of growth even if the earth seems doomed to undergo some hard changes will it harbor our species. I wonder for how long. In absolute terms it does not matter at all, for the universe proceeds its course, even if this "enlightened species" will not prevail.

I have no wisdom to offer for the 888. The Chinese like that combination. Apparently the energetic blessing will offer some kind of inspirational energy to those who are willing to welcome it into their being. I am not sure of any of that. Maybe it will even counter the effects of the so called retrograde Mercury - an optical effect caused by the two planet's orbits which gives for a short period the impression that Mercury is going backwards hence serving as a omen of bad luck for many things.

My advice, for this day and all others, remains the same...

In times of doubt, despair, joy, love, neutral... for any times actually, take time to breathe consciously and hear your heartbeat. That is the ultimate proof that there is a clock ticking inside of you that offers you with ever stroke the possibility of being. Your choice is what is it that you want to be... regardless of the circumstances around you. You are an expression of the divine just for being alive. Stay conscious of your presence here and now, and you can let the flow of the apparent run its course, because it will keep on running long after your last stroke has sounded inside of you.

So today and everyday celebrate this... you are the unique expression of love for being. 

Inner Child

A good friend once told me that in each of us, bounded by the living experience of the soul witihin, lives a child and a grown-up. Getting them to talk, that's the talent for the wise.

Melt

The days pass rapidly between posts and life seems severely compromised in order to prevent me to share with the internet universe whatever thoughts creep in. For those of you, who actually take time to read this blog, I can tell you that I am doing so much better. Love expectations have melted away and the mere experience of life as it is, with all the unknowns that fate has to offer, is being a most enjoyable one. Someone once uttered the wisdom that the soul is the player with the avatar, and that most of life pains, if not all, are the experience of the player feeling the frustrations of the situation the avatar is experiencing. So ready player 1 it is, but life is more than a successful score of love, money, family, social status.

If this is true, when we all die, regardless of the experiences in life, the soul will carry on and this life experience will be over. So the lesson is this, enjoy the character that you are playing, do not confuse the pains of your persona with the core of your being, because you are so much more than the heart aches, the pains, the struggles, the joys, the items, the purchases, the losses - all these are just cumulative aspects of an existence. I guess the purpose of it all is to be able to surf life and develop empathy with others while growing a deeper connection with the self. 

I guess the problem for most is that we are all too close to the characters in our lives. We want to emulate what seems to be the right thing to be, according to the ruling pattern that the times are currently showing. To be bold or to be compliant are two sides of the same fate. Accept the circumstances or fight against them, in the end there will be no evaluation, just a sense of a life that melted away with all that was earned. There is a kind of a zero sum game at play. We born with nothing and proceed to the next stage with nothing. We can think that whatever we produce as property, currency, friends, affections, objects, tell the story of us... when in fact the true story is taking place within, regardless of the accolades, the praises, the prizes, the recognition from others. 

 So what experience will you have today. Learn to see your avatar from the outside, if for some reason some sensation seems to be overwhelming. Breathing is also a good reminder of the inner clock. 

In the end life, death will come as an icicle melt...

 

 

The illusion of the broken souls

In different corners of life, I have found myself looking at the mirror through the pieces of broken souls like my own. Every one comes to this world whole, and life’s little events have a certain toll and leave each person divided in a specific number of parts. Some are lucky enough to have the wisdom to remember where they have left most of them and they take very little time to find them all, hence putting themselves back together again. Others stumble again and again, and keep on breaking the found pieces in even smaller bits.

Another curious fact about broken souls, they tend to gather in clusters of percentage of missing pieces. Rarely you find people with distinct degrees of fractured souls together. They cannot understand each other because the language of each soul becomes elusive. Perchance some are stuck with the pieces of broken love, others with the pieces of broken promises, other with portions of all them, trying desperately to find a wider purpose for life it self. Whatever it is, they all have the ability to reset them selves to a wholeness state if they only remember to search within for the reset button that brings all the pieces home. For in good truth, the broken pieces are scattered inside the realm where the soul exists, buried deep in the vessel of the human experience.

You are never too broken to be whole again, you are just stuck in a pattern that prevents you from being true to yourself and roam a part of your existence or all under the illusion that you are irredeemable. Only you can fix yourself. Do it as soon as possible, for life awaits you for greatness of purpose.