Scream

Boy do I want to scream?

Do I want to rip out my lungs and put outside all the river of contempt that runs deep!!!?

It is  consuming me more than I can bare.
Lie. I can bare it. I am baring it. If I couldn't I would not write.

Screaming to all of you.
Yes, the litte crickets in the room that witness this pathetic display.

You may ask why do I scream?
I scream because I am trapped in an emotional loop that is stuck on sadness and expectation.

If I could remove the expectation, perchance the sadness would disappear.

There is nothing worse than have faith in something that does not depend on us, only to realize that the faith was ill deposited.

I can force anyone to be something that he or she is not.
So, as my good friend once said. I need to surrender to the fact that I have no choice.
So why suffer?
Why torture myself, with that which is not.

"and all the kings horses, and the kings men,
will never put these pieces back together again"

So, perchance to scream, to cry, to laugh, to go insane.
Whatever it maybe ... somehow I will deal with the madness, that is taking over!!!!

And in the end. I lose it all!
Because, I screamed too much!
And scared away ...