Help

I Know nobody is there. 
This is probably the time of my life that I am feeling the loneliest. 
I guess it beats the time, I was in Canada, without a single friend on sight, and all my weakness came pouring down in the form of tears, as the weakling that I was unable to cope with the moment of cruel reality that was upon me. 
I guess that in all my madness, I never assumed that I could meet such depths of feeling. 
I really needed help then. Somehow it came, through irony and expectation. 
It usually is the case. 
You never expect for help to come from the most strangest of places. 
I guess I lost part of myself there. I still have lingering moments of youthful energy, but most of my passion was gone there. That was the day I lost the spark. Recently, I regained it, so I thought. I never knew the price. I thought that after so many adventures and misadventures, the weakling was gone and that I could find the strength to do whatever I want to do. There is a big problem, however, I don't have the slightest idea of what I want to do. 
So I roam the Earth, much like the people who reincarnate in different animals trying to find my purpose in life, without having the clue. I always thought that love would set me free. I now feel that love keeps me trapped, when it has no chance of expressing it self, of being shared. This love stains me like a blot that blurs my soul and makes me forget of the importance of being me. 
Could anybody listen? 
Could anybody care? 
I know you don't give a damn, to the mute cry of the lonely man in the pathetic white living room, who cries in the night waiting for the miracles of the heavens above the persist in not being clear in purpose.
Where can I go, with my madness? Who will take me in? This is my sorrow and if I want company, I must bury it in me. No one wants sorrow No one wants to hear the pain. Solidarity HA! The joke I was never able to master. 
Yes! I am selfish. Yes! I am trapped within a diseased mind that knows no mercy for itself... instead it lingers slowly into the pain of an everlasting nightmare that I desperately want to finish to see the light of day, only to remember that it is when I dream that I awake from my life to my real. Today I was a teacher in Russia 
Where was I? 
Why the pressure? 
 Why can't I be bright and amazing? 
 Why can't I find the true vein of passion that will hold me greatness. 
Why can't I stop writing about the nasty sadness and finally grasp the one true things that matters in anybody life... Happiness. 

 Can anybody help? 
 Does anybody care? 
 It is much more simple, to wonder on the streets, pretending to be an athlete, when in fact all I want is to simply forget! 
 But watch out, don't forget too much, or I might forget myself and then I cannot find my way back. Once in oblivion there is no way of saying hello to the way back! and now... that I spit my own venom into the blogger, I can go and live some more, where certainly new poisons will find me, so that I might come here and just let it out, in the form of contagious words, that matter only to the writer and never to the reader... because he has no knowledge of this feeling! To my beloved self, may I find my peace and with it the true power to change the world. Mine of course, because it is the only one i should change! So, I guess, nobody can help!